I was already regretting leaving such an oblique prompt, and I didn't think it would work for anyone, but THIS! This is so good and the knives are sharpened so well (I am basically always here for the knives, I admit it).
The prompt came from my "sentences" file, bits and pieces that I ripped out of a Guardian story in progress that didn't fit right there, but that might hopefully spark something else one day. And now it did, and I'm so happy it did, thank you so much!
I love how very attuned Shen Wei is to his Zhao Yunlan, the depth of his understanding is so good, so satisfying. And all the small ways he uses his powers - letting light in just to see ZYL's face (and for ZYL to see him, siigh), raising his body temperature for comfort - add up to such a well of love, enough for me to drown in happily.
So he touched Zhao Yunlan's shoulder only lightly--a reminder of his presence, but no demand, and steeled himself for Zhao Yunlan to flinch, to shrug him off, as he recovered his own balance.
The nuances of that are so sharp - he is aware that Zhao Yunlan might not want his comfort, and he understands that and accommodates it, but we can also see from the steels himself that it isn't easy for Shen Wei to hold back like that. And then thank goodness he gets to offer comfort after all. <3
"So you just stopped yourself from having them. ....Of course you did." Zhao Yunlan's voice was quiet, his expression in the dark more thoughtful than judgmental. But then, Shen Wei had admitted other cowardice and weaknesses to him long ago, and Zhao Yunlan was yet beside him.
Oh Shen Wei...I love how well we see Zhao Yunlan here, even filtered through Shen Wei's POV he comes across so clearly, because I know with certainty that he isn't thinking cowardice and weakness at all, I think his heart aches for that young Shen Wei. As much as Shen Wei aches for him in turn.
He said instead the only truth he could, the only promise he could make. "If ever--if ever I left you, Zhao Yunlan--I would look back, if I had any way to. I would want your face to be the last thing I saw of this world; I would want your voice to be the last thing I heard."
...so this is where I died. RIP.
<3 <3 <3 I love that more than words can say. And it helps me deal with the ending of the show - this is why he looks back.
(Sorry, I keep adding to this comment, because I have to!)
And Shen Wei wanted more than anything to tell him that it was only a dreamed fear, that it would never come to pass, that Shen Wei would never leave him--knew that Zhao Yunlan wanted to hear it, wanted to believe it.
But he can't. And I love that he is so brutally realistic with himself here, and it hurts and I love that it hurts ;__;
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I was already regretting leaving such an oblique prompt, and I didn't think it would work for anyone, but THIS! This is so good and the knives are sharpened so well (I am basically always here for the knives, I admit it).
The prompt came from my "sentences" file, bits and pieces that I ripped out of a Guardian story in progress that didn't fit right there, but that might hopefully spark something else one day. And now it did, and I'm so happy it did, thank you so much!
I love how very attuned Shen Wei is to his Zhao Yunlan, the depth of his understanding is so good, so satisfying. And all the small ways he uses his powers - letting light in just to see ZYL's face (and for ZYL to see him, siigh), raising his body temperature for comfort - add up to such a well of love, enough for me to drown in happily.
So he touched Zhao Yunlan's shoulder only lightly--a reminder of his presence, but no demand, and steeled himself for Zhao Yunlan to flinch, to shrug him off, as he recovered his own balance.
The nuances of that are so sharp - he is aware that Zhao Yunlan might not want his comfort, and he understands that and accommodates it, but we can also see from the steels himself that it isn't easy for Shen Wei to hold back like that. And then thank goodness he gets to offer comfort after all. <3
"So you just stopped yourself from having them. ....Of course you did." Zhao Yunlan's voice was quiet, his expression in the dark more thoughtful than judgmental. But then, Shen Wei had admitted other cowardice and weaknesses to him long ago, and Zhao Yunlan was yet beside him.
Oh Shen Wei...I love how well we see Zhao Yunlan here, even filtered through Shen Wei's POV he comes across so clearly, because I know with certainty that he isn't thinking cowardice and weakness at all, I think his heart aches for that young Shen Wei. As much as Shen Wei aches for him in turn.
He said instead the only truth he could, the only promise he could make. "If ever--if ever I left you, Zhao Yunlan--I would look back, if I had any way to. I would want your face to be the last thing I saw of this world; I would want your voice to be the last thing I heard."
...so this is where I died. RIP.
<3 <3 <3 I love that more than words can say. And it helps me deal with the ending of the show - this is why he looks back.
(Sorry, I keep adding to this comment, because I have to!)
And Shen Wei wanted more than anything to tell him that it was only a dreamed fear, that it would never come to pass, that Shen Wei would never leave him--knew that Zhao Yunlan wanted to hear it, wanted to believe it.
But he can't. And I love that he is so brutally realistic with himself here, and it hurts and I love that it hurts ;__;