time for an h/c comment fest!

[xparrot]

The last couple of days have been rough on my writing (for dumb annoying reasons, why don't we come installed with a "will not be bothered by this thing" button?)

So! In the hopes of getting me to write something, and because this is what I'm feeling most wobbly about: it's time for hurt/comfort comment-fic!

Leave me a prompt/request for h/c, any hurt or any comfort, short or long as you want -- if it's character-specific, Guardian WeiLan please, that's all I'm in the mood to write; if that's not your thing then please leave a more general prompt! I don't promise to write anything (nor do I promise to write an actual commentfic and not some 10K-word monster, knowing me) but I would love any inspiration.

And if one of the prompts happens to tickle your fancy, please post your own comment fic (art, etc!) here (any fandoms, any characters) -- the more h/c the merrier!


The fills! \o/
(as of Nov. 23)

The Sundial goes full Equivalent Exchange. by frith_in_thorns
aftermath of torture by xparrot
Shen Wei is having trouble focusing (and how!) by xparrot
Hypothermia and cuddling for warmth (or: Shen Wei Is The Least Reliable Narrator) by yue_ix
Shen Wei has a weird allergic reaction by frith_in_thorns
Nightmares (and knives) by xparrot
Shen Wei suddenly has the power to hear people's dreams by naye
Fanart: Scars by yue_ix
Comfort tea & hypothermia by marycrawford
Wings, the kind that stay inside until they tear their way out by frith_in_thorns
Scars (AU fic for yue_ix's art) by xparrot
Dragged away screaming by marycrawford
Shen Wei thinking he's minorly hurt, but it's actually a lot worse by wintersoldier77
Zhao Yunlan has a literal healing cock by xparrot
Shen Wei thinking he's only minorly hurt, take 2 by rlyqueer
winter has come by extrapenguin
Shen Wei accidentally (or not) ingests poison meant for Zhao Yunlan by xparrot
muffled screams by duckwhatduck
Like a snowglobe by frith_in_thorns

Comments

[xparrot]

I am SO CURIOUS if you had anything in mind for this prompt...! Anyway this is a combination of this and one of glymr 's prompts from below.

Beware of knives (it's all canon's fault!)(this is why I usually write post-canon ;_;)

*

Shen Wei was not asleep, but he was lying still, meditating deeply, sifting through the ever-shifting warp and weft of the dark energy woven through him. The more abilities he accrued, the more important it was for him to stay aware of all those myriad strands and frequencies, to channel more effectively the power granted him.

So he heard Zhao Yunlan's breathing change, but it took Shen Wei a moment yet to surface, to blink himself back to full awareness. Zhao Yunlan lay beside him on the bed, on his side turned toward Shen Wei--motionless, but for the small rise and fall of his chest--but too fast for deep sleep. And his face--was wet, the tears overflowing from his closed eyes only the faintest shimmer, in the room's darkness.

"Yunlan?" Shen Wei said, sitting up. When there was no answer, he reached out, took hold of Zhao Yunlan's shoulder. Zhao Yunlan's body was rigidly tense, but he didn't react to Shen Wei's touch--asleep, then. Shen Wei gave him a shake, repeated his name, "Zhao Yunlan, wake up."

Zhao Yunlan came out of the dream with a choking gasp. He blinked a few times, eyes focused on nothing, his breathing coming hard and shallow. Then with a mumbled curse he rolled onto his back, pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.

Shen Wei just watched him for a time, as his breathing steadied, the jerky heaving of his chest slowing; but he didn't take his hands down from his face, and Shen Wei finally asked, "Yunlan? Are you..."

He extended his hand again, tentative. He knew what he himself would have liked in such a time, though that had been so long ago--but Zhao Yunlan was not him. Zhao Yunlan had never needed to wear a mask to fake courage; his bravery and strength were not a matter of what was seen, but what was within. And this was no physical hurt for Shen Wei to heal, not anything any of his array of powers could remedy.

So he touched Zhao Yunlan's shoulder only lightly--a reminder of his presence, but no demand, and steeled himself for Zhao Yunlan to flinch, to shrug him off, as he recovered his own balance.

Instead Zhao Yunlan made another choked sound and rolled over again, back towards Shen Wei, reaching out blindly to grab fistfuls of Shen Wei's pajama top to yank him closer. Shen Wei didn't resist, let himself be pulled down, so Zhao Yunlan could curl up with his head pressed to Shen Wei's chest, and Shen Wei put his arms around him.

Zhao Yunlan was trembling, not the racking shivers of a chill for all the coolness of his skin, but the larger shudders of suppressed sobs--only a couple, and then he caught his breath, held it and then forced it out, long and rattling.

Shen Wei ran a hand down his back, Zhao Yunlan's bare skin under his palm clammy with cold sweat. He used a little tendril of power to draw the blankets back up over both of them without having to unfold his arms from around Zhao Yunlan, and opened wider his capillaries to raise his own skin temperature a little. Zhao Yunlan's breathing evened out--not to sleeping slowness, but more relaxed, and the quivering tension of his body eased as his skin warmed under Shen Wei's hands.

After a little while, Shen Wei tried asking again, "Zhao Yunlan?"

With one hand cupping the back of his neck, he felt Zhao Yunlan swallow. Zhao Yunlan shifted a little, butting his forehead against Shen Wei's chest, without pulling away. Finally said, muffled against Shen Wei's pajamas, "Bad dream. Sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Shen Wei asked.

He didn't mean it as a joke, but the shaky breath Zhao Yunlan let go was close to chuckle. "Just, didn't mean to wake you."

"I wasn't asleep," Shen Wei said, and was grateful that he hadn't been.

Zhao Yunlan rasped another almost-chuckle. "Of course you weren't, it's only, what, two a.m.?"

"Just past three."

"Must be nice," Zhao Yunlan muttered, "not to need sleep or dreams or any of that shit."

"I do need sleep," Shen Wei said. "Just not very much, not when meditation can suffice."

"But no dreams, though."

"No," Shen Wei admitted.

"Don't suppose that's a power you could share."

"It's not a power," Shen Wei said. "Not something I learned, more that...I taught myself." He was ashamed even as he said it.

"You taught yourself. Not to dream." Zhao Yunlan was sounding steadier, at least. He uncurled, pulling back a little from Shen Wei--the fingers of one hand still locked around a fold of Shen Wei's pajama top, but his other hand he put under his head to prop it up, his face turned toward Shen Wei. "So, how'd you do that?" Looking toward him, but his eyes weren't quite focused--the room was too dark for his Haixing vision, Shen Wei realized; Zhao Yunlan probably couldn't see more than his silhouette.

It made it a little easier to confess it, the shadows another mask. "I don't exactly remember how I taught myself; it was a long time ago, I was quite young. Making sounds in the night...it could be dangerous. I didn't know how to keep myself from crying out in nightmares, so..."

"So you just stopped yourself from having them. ....Of course you did." Zhao Yunlan's voice was quiet, his expression in the dark more thoughtful than judgmental. But then, Shen Wei had admitted other cowardice and weaknesses to him long ago, and Zhao Yunlan was yet beside him.

Zhao Yunlan made a cushion of his elbow on top of the pillow and dropped his head onto it, unknotted his fingers from Shen Wei's pajama shirt to find Shen Wei's hand instead, clasping it under the covers. He sidled a little closer again, stuck one cold foot between Shen Wei's calves.

His eyes were still open though, in the dark, looking toward Shen Wei, not quite focused but more directed than when he was blind. Like he was waiting for them to adjust enough to see Shen Wei, before he closed them to sleep.

"Zhao Yunlan," Shen Wei asked quietly, "what did you dream about?"

Zhao Yunlan shifted; his lips tightened, a grimace he maybe thought would go unseen. "Eh, it was nothing. Just a stupid nightmare."

"It upset you," Shen Wei said.

He thought his voice was no less calm than before, but Zhao Yunlan's hand tightened his grip on his own, and Zhao Yunlan's mouth moved--rippled and curved, as he breathed out another chuckle. "You can't take your blade to my dreams, you know."

Shen Wei frowned, struck by that thought--he had no power to stop dreams, it was true, but as far as walking in them went--

"--That was a joke," Zhao Yunlan said. "And anyway, this dream, you couldn't...it was you." He swallowed again--clenched his jaw silently and then released it, so his voice sounded nearly normal. "I was--I was lying there, I was hurt, I could barely move, maybe I was dying--and I called for you, I called your name--but you. You turned away. You went away, you vanished, you left--I saw you dwindle into nothingness and you, you didn't even look back..."

Shen Wei nearly couldn't breathe, like Zhao Yunlan's gentle hand was closed around his throat, was closed around his heart, crushing the life from him.

"--It didn't even make sense," Zhao Yunlan said, "it was stupid, it..." He stopped, hearing perhaps the faint tremor in his own voice. His eyes in the dark were glittering slightly and he blinked them, not raising his hand to wipe water from his lashes, when that would be heard in the dark.

As if he thought it might be shameful somehow, that he could hurt, that he had those wounds cut deep in his heart. That loss would be something he feared, when he'd learned it so young and so painfully.

And Shen Wei wanted more than anything to tell him that it was only a dreamed fear, that it would never come to pass, that Shen Wei would never leave him--knew that Zhao Yunlan wanted to hear it, wanted to believe it.

But he had lied, was lying, to Zhao Yunlan, too many times to be able to do it now. Not while he lay next to Zhao Yunlan, sharing the heat of their bodies and the warmth of their skin.

He said instead the only truth he could, the only promise he could make. "If ever--if ever I left you, Zhao Yunlan--I would look back, if I had any way to. I would want your face to be the last thing I saw of this world; I would want your voice to be the last thing I heard."

Zhao Yunlan was quiet for a moment,. Then he made a wet, coughing laugh. "So it wasn't actually you in my stupid nightmare. Just your dream-twin being an asshole."

Shen Wei stayed still until he was sure his breath would not come out too harshly, his voice would be composed. Light, to match the tone Zhao Yunlan was trying for. "Apparently."

Zhao Yunlan exhaled, shakily, but his lips were curving again. "That's...good to know."

Under the covers, he inched closer to Shen Wei, their hands still clasped, elbows crooked in the narrow space between them. His foot between Shen Wei's calves was warming, yet still he wormed it under the hem of the pajamas, their knees bumping, to tickle Shen Wei's skin with his wiggling toes.

He was still looking at Shen Wei blindly in the dark. Shen Wei reached out to the wind, pulled enough air to him to make a draft to shift the curtain, parting one side to let the moonlight shine into the room.

That pale glow fell across Zhao Yunlan's face, limning the perfect curves of his nose, his lips, each trim wiry hair on his chin; bringing out the dark fire of his eyes, fixing now on Shen Wei's face. How clearly those eyes could see, even in this light, Shen Wei wasn't sure. Well enough at least for their gazes to meet. For Zhao Yunlan to smile at him--to lean over and kiss Shen Wei's mouth, gently.

Shen Wei let the draft go, the curtain falling back in place. In the restored dark, Zhao Yunlan settled his head once more on his arm. He let his eyes close now, still holding Shen Wei's hand. Yawned, and spoke around it, mumbled half into the pillow, "You know, if you ever do dream again, if you could remember how--I'd be here, whatever your dreams were like."

"I know," Shen Wei told him, and in the dark gladly watched Zhao Yunlan smile, held his hand and counted his slowing breaths, as he drifted back to a more peaceful sleep.

[glymr]

Oof. There's so MUCH here. Shen Wei's terribly consistent double standard (it's weakness for him to have nightmares, but not for Zhao Yunlan), the "I taught myself not to dream, the way he noticed Yunlan trying to see him and eventually facilitated exactly that, the "dream-twin asshole", the "I would look back", the "he'd lied too many times to do it now"...and Shen Wei's internal debate about whether he could take his blade to Yunlan's dreams (actually, dreamwalking might be good for him - could he learn to dream again himself if he did it?

Loved it! Thank you so much!

[xparrot]

Ahhh, thank you! Shen Wei's double standards is one of my favorite things about his POV; for a supposed arbiter of justice he can be so merciful, but not on himself...

Oh, but Shen Wei learning to dream again from dreamwalking Zhao Yunlan, I love that idea, how beautiful...I'm tempted to do more with that!

[glymr]

Oooh, I hope you do someday! I think it would be lovely! Just, walking through Zhao Yunlan's dreams until he can start having his own again...*happy sigh* Yes!

[marycrawford]

...AM DED.

I was already regretting leaving such an oblique prompt, and I didn't think it would work for anyone, but THIS! This is so good and the knives are sharpened so well (I am basically always here for the knives, I admit it).

The prompt came from my "sentences" file, bits and pieces that I ripped out of a Guardian story in progress that didn't fit right there, but that might hopefully spark something else one day. And now it did, and I'm so happy it did, thank you so much!

I love how very attuned Shen Wei is to his Zhao Yunlan, the depth of his understanding is so good, so satisfying. And all the small ways he uses his powers - letting light in just to see ZYL's face (and for ZYL to see him, siigh), raising his body temperature for comfort - add up to such a well of love, enough for me to drown in happily.

So he touched Zhao Yunlan's shoulder only lightly--a reminder of his presence, but no demand, and steeled himself for Zhao Yunlan to flinch, to shrug him off, as he recovered his own balance.

The nuances of that are so sharp - he is aware that Zhao Yunlan might not want his comfort, and he understands that and accommodates it, but we can also see from the steels himself that it isn't easy for Shen Wei to hold back like that. And then thank goodness he gets to offer comfort after all. <3

"So you just stopped yourself from having them. ....Of course you did." Zhao Yunlan's voice was quiet, his expression in the dark more thoughtful than judgmental. But then, Shen Wei had admitted other cowardice and weaknesses to him long ago, and Zhao Yunlan was yet beside him.

Oh Shen Wei...I love how well we see Zhao Yunlan here, even filtered through Shen Wei's POV he comes across so clearly, because I know with certainty that he isn't thinking cowardice and weakness at all, I think his heart aches for that young Shen Wei. As much as Shen Wei aches for him in turn.

He said instead the only truth he could, the only promise he could make. "If ever--if ever I left you, Zhao Yunlan--I would look back, if I had any way to. I would want your face to be the last thing I saw of this world; I would want your voice to be the last thing I heard."

...so this is where I died. RIP.

<3 <3 <3 I love that more than words can say. And it helps me deal with the ending of the show - this is why he looks back.

(Sorry, I keep adding to this comment, because I have to!)

And Shen Wei wanted more than anything to tell him that it was only a dreamed fear, that it would never come to pass, that Shen Wei would never leave him--knew that Zhao Yunlan wanted to hear it, wanted to believe it.

But he can't. And I love that he is so brutally realistic with himself here, and it hurts and I love that it hurts ;__;

[xparrot]

Ahh, eee, waaaah *blushes and hides face*

--From a cut story snippet, ah of course! (which story out of curiosity, or is it not posted yet?) --also putting them in a separate doc is a clever idea. I always just stick my cut lines at the end of whatever doc they're in and then they mostly get forgotten...

Shen Wei using his powers in small personal ways is a headcanon I love for him, just, he's got all that power but the weight of its responsibility is so heavy for him, for him to just get a little selfish pleasure out of them is good for me (...for Shen Wei, of course, "selfish pleasure" is mostly doing nice things for Zhao Yunlan...)

but we can also see from the steels himself that it isn't easy for Shen Wei to hold back like that.

I tweaked that line trying to go for just this, so, yes, I'm very happy to know it came across!

And Shen Wei's POV, ahhh...that he can be brutally honest with himself and yet get so much completely wrong about himself too, ahhh, I love him too much for it! But Zhao Yunlan sees him truly anyway, even if Shen Wei can't always believe that, can't believe that he can be glowing good figure Zhao Yunlan sees.

And it helps me deal with the ending of the show - this is why he looks back.

Yessssssss I am sure of this. Because Shen Wei will always do what needs to be done, what it's his responsibility to do, and Zhao Yunlan knows this, it's one of the reasons he loves him...but Shen Wei does still have his own heart, and it does always wants...

(also I choose to believe this is all Shen Wei's pessimism anyway and they are actually in a proper timeline where they live!! and uh, yeah...I love the angst and knives but not-so-secretly I love happy endings even more, so... ^^;;;)

But thank you -- for the inspiring prompt and for this amazing comment (the repeated edits were so flattering, really, seeing you come back to this just made my morning!)

[marycrawford]

which story out of curiosity, or is it not posted yet?

Not posted yet, not finished by a long shot! It's a type of Hades/Persephone AU where Shen Wei is literally the Reaper, and all their meet-cutes involve people dying, so...yeah. I went in some more cheerful directions for a while. :D

also putting them in a separate doc is a clever idea.

Aw, it's even easier than that - I use Scrivener, so I just have one file with all my Guardian stuff in it, and separate documents inside the binder for each story, outtakes, research, etc. It's also very handy for using the Autocomplete feature so I don't have to type Zhao Yunlan or Shen Wei by hand every time. :D

Shen Wei using his powers in small personal ways is a headcanon I love for him

Yes, same! I love how well that works here; of course he will permit himself jusstt a little frivolous extension of power if it's for Zhao Yunlan's sake, and then if it comforts him as well, that's just accidental. :D

(also I choose to believe this is all Shen Wei's pessimism anyway and they are actually in a proper timeline where they live!! and uh, yeah...I love the angst and knives but not-so-secretly I love happy endings even more, so.

Yeah, I am on board with that! I love the foreshadowing but that doesn't mean it has to come true. A combination of All the Knives and Happy Ever After is just the best.

[frith_in_thorns]

This is so lovely and sad! Shen Wei wanting to protect Zhao Yunlan from everything but hesitant about forcing comfort on him, and then reassured by how Zhao Yunlan wants to be close to him. I love all the tiny things Shen Wei uses his powers for in this, from warming himself to pulling up the covers and opening the curtains a tiny bit, having realised how Zhao Yunlan wants to see him.

And Shen Wei having taught himself not to dream and considering that an act of cowardice! Oh, Shen Wei ;;_;;

[xparrot]

Ahhh, Shen Wei using his powers for little personal things (for Zhao Yunlan, because doing things for Zhao Yunlan is also doing things for Shen Wei's own happiness!) is one of my favorite things, he deserves to get some joy out of them! And yeah, Shen Wei would save Zhao Yunlan from everything if he could, but then Zhao Yunlan would save him from everything, so it's only fair...

I hadn't given that much thought to Shen Wei's line about not dreaming, though it interests me...for now at least, this can be my headcanon for it! ("cowardice" though, oh Shen Wei...)

[trobadora]

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH. This is wonderful. THE SWEETEST. All of it - Zhao Yunlan's nightmare and how affected he is by it, Shen Wei wanting to comfort him but unsure if his comfort is welcome (OF COURSE it is!!!!!), just. Everything. The way Zhao Yunlan needs Shen Wei (lets himself need him). The little bits of how Shen Wei uses his powers (for Zhao Yunlan). And the whole "can't promise not to leave, but will absolutely look back" thing in particular. Just, OMG my heart, it's perfect. I love it so much.

[xparrot]

Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

[yantantether]

I love them SO MUCH and your writing just perfectly shows everything that's brilliant, and brave, and loving and wonderful about them ;________;

Making sounds in the night...it could be dangerous
AAAUUUUGGHHHH bb Shen Wei.

"You can't take your blade to my dreams, you know."
Such a perfect line!

I would want your face to be the last thing I saw of this world; I would want your voice to be the last thing I heard."
I'm tearing up at this. Owowowowowwwwwww.

[xparrot]

Waaah, yes -- they are both so amazing, and amazing for each other...

...and I have such a hard time saying anything about the KNIVES because I can write them but if I try to talk about them I tend to default into NOOOO HAPPY ENDING ;___; But I am so glad you liked it <333

[clevermanka]

"If ever--if ever I left you, Zhao Yunlan--I would look back, if I had any way to. I would want your face to be the last thing I saw of this world; I would want your voice to be the last thing I heard."
Popping in briefly (augh, wish I had time to spend on all the comments to this post!) to say WOW this hit me where I live. LOVE IT.

[xparrot]

Wah, thank you! --there's so much here, it's becoming hard to get to it all, that's how productive this fandom can be! \o/

[winter_blossom]

Ooh, an h/c fic where Zhao Yunlan is the one being comforted, what a rare gem! And definitely more my speed than the opposite (caretaker!Shen Wei is one of my favourite SW's, second only to BAMF!Shen Wei), so thank you for writing this!

...it was a long time ago, I was quite young. Making sounds in the night...it could be dangerous. I didn't know how to keep myself from crying out in nightmares, so...

What a beautiful, heartbreaking glimpse into Shen Wei's childhood and what he surely had to go through, being a kid (even if he was an unusually powerful kid) making it all on his own on a hostile planet, among a species not his own, likely as a child soldier! I feel that this part of SW's life doesn't get nearly enough focus in fic or even meta, so it's lovely to see it being acknowledged, however briefly!

"If ever--if ever I left you, Zhao Yunlan--I would look back, if I had any way to. I would want your face to be the last thing I saw of this world; I would want your voice to be the last thing I heard."

And now I'll have a new layer of heartache when I rewatch/think back on that scene in the drama! Knives, indeed... But, really, the composition of this line is perfect!

...he had no power to stop dreams, it was true, but as far as walking in them went...

And now I want a fic where SW uses dreamwalking powers! (But, let's face it, I just want fics featuring any and all abilities SW might have picked up over the years that we didn't get to see in the show.)

This was such a lovely read, thanks for sharing!

[xparrot]

I absolutely love Shen Wei being a caretaker (and a BAMF of course!), but we get to see that in the show on multiple occasions, while we rarely get its reverse of Shen Wei getting care. So that's my own preference in fic, because for me fic is largely about exploring things I would've wanted from canon but didn't get. (Like happy endings and kisses!) But I do still enjoy this side of him too.

Likewise, Shen Wei's angsty backstory does intrigue me, but I don't really care for exploring it in the context of pure angst (I'm not a big fan of unrelenting angst in general); I find it more cathartic if he can get some comfort for it, especially from Zhao Yunlan who sees him so clearly, and can see his pain and trauma, even when Shen Wei himself doesn't.

Shen Wei's base power does offer so many opportunities for just about anything; it's one of the things I enjoy about reading fic in this fandom, to see the creativity there!

Glad you enjoyed it!

[winter_blossom]

Shen Wei's angsty backstory does intrigue me, but I don't really care for exploring it in the context of pure angst...

Fair enough, of course, but I meant more like: there's always plenty of references to what Zhao Yunlan had to go through after losing his mum and having a distant father, or even - more and more frequently as of late - what Ye Zun might have suffered at the hands of the rebels, but barely any mention of Shen Wei's childhood, like it's a given that he had a great time as an exalted hero or something. Whereas I see his inherent lack of self-worth and natural tendency to maintain absolute control over all his actions and emotions as originating from a pretty harsh childhood/young adulthood where nobody ever cared about anything but how powerful he was and how good he was at fighting, protecting others, and tolerating pain. Being the die-hard Shen Wei fan that I am, I'd love to see that being acknowledged more, on its own. Using it as a reason for ZYL to assure him of his worth, or merely as a plot point to be stepped over, takes the focus away from Shen Wei himself and puts it back on ZYL's feelings and actions, which is something that canon did quite enough of already, imo. (Heck, even Chu Shuzhi and Zhu Hong's backstories got more "emotional" focus in-show than Shen Wei's, which, weird!)

But then again, I suppose I should just write this myself instead of complaining, but time is definitely my worst enemy, there ^_^

[extrapenguin]

Ahh this was cute! Shen Wei's declaration that he would want Zhao Yunlan's face to be the last thing he saw was very him and very romantic.

[xparrot]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it!

[umadoshi]

This all makes my heart ache, but the comforting parts are so warm and sweet. *loves*

[xparrot]

Wah, thank you -- I really meant to do comfort sans the knives, but then it ended up being set in canon...but they still have each other, at least, in spite of everything ;_;