Hello I'm so glad you've already typed up my comment for me. <3
My default mode and preference is squee, however. I just don't have the energy after RL stuff to engage in too many thinky thoughts. (Even this is a lot!) This! I know I talk a lot, and do a lot of words sometimes, but gah. Going into the nitty-gritty of thinky thoughts on stuff is hard. I prefer meta that's more generally speculative (what did Zhao Yunlan do before the SID?) rather than trying to settle on One True Interpretation of canon, which...is never going to happen because we all have different nuances of understanding, from language comprehension to cultural background to what we read into character motivations.
I like collecting bits and pieces of headcanon, having them sitting around like bits of shiny in my magpie's nest of a brain, and then sometimes I will arrange one of them into a pleasing part of a fic.
But there's other pieces of headcanon that I feel so strongly about that I will be confused and distressed by seeing disparaged or denied! And even I don't know which of my takes on the show are fluid and which are dealbreakers (for engaging in a fanwork) until they hit me. This makes me rubbish at talking about them, because I hate feeling defensive and overly emotional, and so: avoidance.
I come to fandom to unwind and look at the pretty and roll around in feels, so that's my happy place and what I'm looking for here. This is where I go fluff up the fluff and sharpen the knives and get ready to roll around with you! Because: yes. This is where I'm happiest.
I don't mind critique when it is part of thoughtful meta, but I wonder if sometimes after a fandom has been having a convo for a while, some meta loses its nuance for shorthand purposes and can become a bit flippant, simplified, scornful, or monolithic, and that's when it can start to hurt feelings. This is absolutely true, and I think very easy to slip into without realizing? Because it's also a bonding experience - yes, we agree with each other, yes, we're on the same page...but for those who aren't, it's absolutely alienating.
I think the type of negativity that bothers me most is around individual fanworks, styles, tropes, etc. THIS. This is the key for me, and I think I'd even back a "maybe don't throw these around" even if you want to, even if you think your point is very fair and rational or you feel put-upon by a sudden influx of Thing You Dislike and know that likeminded people can support you through this difficult time.
This, I feel, is why we have DMs and private chats and email.
Look, I have squicks. I have types of stories that do nothing for me that are popular and show up a lot. xparrot knows more about my "ugh I'm so tired of seeing Fast and Furious fusions*" type takes than anyone ever should (sorry Xparrot, this is what you get for being a great listener), but I realize that if I had vented all of these thoughts in my own journal the Fast and Furious contingent would probably have felt like they did not need to know this because what the hell does it add to fandom? It might make people who were just starting out on their first Fast and Furious fic shove it back in the draft folder, never to be shared with everyone who do enjoy those stories. It might definitely hurt feelings if I used "can you believe people are so childish they want to write about fast cars" as an example in a conversation with someone who loved reading about fast cars.
In the long run I lose absolutely nothing by keeping my frustration with Fast and Furious fusions to myself and those friends I know won't be hurt by the fact that I want to vent about how many racing scenes I am having to skip because they bore me. (Very important: you do not need to like everything! Nobody is saying having human feelings is banned. But my need to express human feelings does not trump others' right to post what they like without feeling attacked.)
So it goes beyond not making posts complaining about The Thing Fandom Is Doing I Don't Like (standard disclaimer: this is different than dealing with racism, homophobia etc.). It includes being mindful in conversations with people, and in comments on fic.
"Don't like don't read" should be applied alongside the golden rule. NOBODY is going to be happy if I read a fic tagged "racing" and then leave a comment on "I liked the rest of the fic but I'm not into racing. Here are my reasons for disliking racing in fic." THIS IS NOT OKAY. This is when you leave the "I liked" part of the comment and turn to your closest friend to get sympathy that you had to skip through yet another bloody racing scene.
This ALSO applies to "I don't usually read Fast and Furious fusions, but yours was pretty good" type of comments. This is tricky, because I feel it might be okay to let an author know you think they handled a subject you find difficult in a good way. I found it hugely flattering that someone read one of my stories despite one of the tags being a squick of theirs.
But if it's a general slag on the trope - this will make every other writer who is into the trope feel that the comment means that their writing isn't good enough to engage in. It might also make the writer who wrote the trope out of love feel hurt, because a lot of people do only write what they love and being told "I'm not into your ship/trope/interpretation of this character in general" is the same as "I dislike what you love" and. Again. Not cool.
If you're in someone's space and it's full of pictures of Vin Diesel and muscle cars, maybe don't start a monologue on how awful you find The Fast and Furious franchise in general, even if you round off with a "but I like this piece of fanart that you drew of a car driven by Michelle Rodriguez". (Wait no I don't mean maybe don't I mean do not).
Okay this is as much rambling as I'm capable of and in summary I support squee and I love fanning with you Asya and I'm sorry if none of this makes any sense. ^^;
*This example is entirely fictional and more people should write Fast and Furious fusions for the rapt audience that is my wife.
no subject
My default mode and preference is squee, however. I just don't have the energy after RL stuff to engage in too many thinky thoughts. (Even this is a lot!)
This! I know I talk a lot, and do a lot of words sometimes, but gah. Going into the nitty-gritty of thinky thoughts on stuff is hard. I prefer meta that's more generally speculative (what did Zhao Yunlan do before the SID?) rather than trying to settle on One True Interpretation of canon, which...is never going to happen because we all have different nuances of understanding, from language comprehension to cultural background to what we read into character motivations.
I like collecting bits and pieces of headcanon, having them sitting around like bits of shiny in my magpie's nest of a brain, and then sometimes I will arrange one of them into a pleasing part of a fic.
But there's other pieces of headcanon that I feel so strongly about that I will be confused and distressed by seeing disparaged or denied! And even I don't know which of my takes on the show are fluid and which are dealbreakers (for engaging in a fanwork) until they hit me. This makes me rubbish at talking about them, because I hate feeling defensive and overly emotional, and so: avoidance.
I come to fandom to unwind and look at the pretty and roll around in feels, so that's my happy place and what I'm looking for here.
This is where I go fluff up the fluff and sharpen the knives and get ready to roll around with you! Because: yes. This is where I'm happiest.
I don't mind critique when it is part of thoughtful meta, but I wonder if sometimes after a fandom has been having a convo for a while, some meta loses its nuance for shorthand purposes and can become a bit flippant, simplified, scornful, or monolithic, and that's when it can start to hurt feelings.
This is absolutely true, and I think very easy to slip into without realizing? Because it's also a bonding experience - yes, we agree with each other, yes, we're on the same page...but for those who aren't, it's absolutely alienating.
I think the type of negativity that bothers me most is around individual fanworks, styles, tropes, etc.
THIS. This is the key for me, and I think I'd even back a "maybe don't throw these around" even if you want to, even if you think your point is very fair and rational or you feel put-upon by a sudden influx of Thing You Dislike and know that likeminded people can support you through this difficult time.
This, I feel, is why we have DMs and private chats and email.
Look, I have squicks. I have types of stories that do nothing for me that are popular and show up a lot.
In the long run I lose absolutely nothing by keeping my frustration with Fast and Furious fusions to myself and those friends I know won't be hurt by the fact that I want to vent about how many racing scenes I am having to skip because they bore me. (Very important: you do not need to like everything! Nobody is saying having human feelings is banned. But my need to express human feelings does not trump others' right to post what they like without feeling attacked.)
So it goes beyond not making posts complaining about The Thing Fandom Is Doing I Don't Like (standard disclaimer: this is different than dealing with racism, homophobia etc.). It includes being mindful in conversations with people, and in comments on fic.
"Don't like don't read" should be applied alongside the golden rule. NOBODY is going to be happy if I read a fic tagged "racing" and then leave a comment on "I liked the rest of the fic but I'm not into racing. Here are my reasons for disliking racing in fic." THIS IS NOT OKAY. This is when you leave the "I liked" part of the comment and turn to your closest friend to get sympathy that you had to skip through yet another bloody racing scene.
This ALSO applies to "I don't usually read Fast and Furious fusions, but yours was pretty good" type of comments. This is tricky, because I feel it might be okay to let an author know you think they handled a subject you find difficult in a good way. I found it hugely flattering that someone read one of my stories despite one of the tags being a squick of theirs.
But if it's a general slag on the trope - this will make every other writer who is into the trope feel that the comment means that their writing isn't good enough to engage in. It might also make the writer who wrote the trope out of love feel hurt, because a lot of people do only write what they love and being told "I'm not into your ship/trope/interpretation of this character in general" is the same as "I dislike what you love" and. Again. Not cool.
If you're in someone's space and it's full of pictures of Vin Diesel and muscle cars, maybe don't start a monologue on how awful you find The Fast and Furious franchise in general, even if you round off with a "but I like this piece of fanart that you drew of a car driven by Michelle Rodriguez". (Wait no I don't mean maybe don't I mean do not).
Okay this is as much rambling as I'm capable of and in summary I support squee and I love fanning with you Asya and I'm sorry if none of this makes any sense. ^^;
*This example is entirely fictional and more people should write Fast and Furious fusions for the rapt audience that is my wife.