I agree, absolutely, and I'm not trying to define fandom-wide laws or practices; but at the same time, people all need to be aware of those differences in values and beliefs. If there's any internet-wide law of courtesy, it ought to be this - that the Golden Rule doesn't apply; treat others not how you would like to be treated, but how they would like to be treated, as best as you can determine - and apologize when you guess incorrectly.

I also don't believe 'courtesy' is the be-all and end-all; there are definitely things that take precedence. But when it comes to internet fandom, which is entirely a social pursuit and we're all presumably here to enjoy ourselves (in all the myriad ways we do so) - yeah, there's not many things more important here than doing our best to respect others' 'pursuit of happiness.' The trouble arises when one person's happiness is hurting someone else...

...But, yeah, in the end, these are all merely my opinions as much as anyone's, and the best I can do is seek out and create communities that follow them, and let the others be.