Heh - my feelings on romance and relationships in fiction have pretty much zero bearing on my feelings about them in RL, oddly enough. I don't have much interest in realism in my fiction!
Yk, I have never, ever considered this as a possible POV! There are lots of ways fiction, and SGA both in canon and in fanfic, isn't like reality (space vampires? solving complicated problems in 44 minutes? Non-repetitive dialog?) but for me fiction is a reflection of reality; a conversation with it.
This is my main problem with slash/het. I go from "okay, let's assume X would be attracted to/interested in a man/woman/energy being" to "okay, what sort of man/woman/energy being would he go for" - I don't think Rodney would necessarily fall for either John or Jennifer, nor do I necessarily think relationships with either of them would work, long-term. I think of the more ambitious people (esp. physicists) I know, and what relationships actually work for them, and they tend to couple best with people with no ambitions of their own or with people very, very much like themselves. So, either Chuck or Zelenka. And since I don't want to write Rodney/Chuck or Rodney/Zelenka, it dies there.
As friends, though, I can see John and Rodney (or Jim and Blair :-) ) orbiting each other for a long, long time.
What upsets me most is being thrown out of a show or a story by sloppiness - a poor choice of a guest star (like with Larrin) or getting simple science wrong (global warming isn't going to turn Earth into a barren rock - gravity is not about to stop working, we're not going to vent our atmosphere and oceans) or giving a character backstory that doesn't make sense (pretty much any science backstory of any character in the SG universe). OOC behavior only really, really bothers me if it makes me think there's a plot reason for the OOCness and there isn't. Otherwise, it's food for fanfic.
(4) There *is* something more to a sexual relationship than it being merely the logical extension of another sort of relationship, else people would have a lot more sexual partners concurrently than they tend to.
Hmm, I'm curious what this is a response to - Gero's ideas, or my comments above, or something else. If it's to my comments, I don't actually see sex as a "logical extension" of friendship, but more a possible extension.
It was in response to one of your early comments on this post, but I've read what you've written further about it and I see where you're coming from.
Personally, I *like* love and marriage and being part of a couple and the adventure of raising children together. I was struck by friendshipper's feelings about compromise - I can see how they can seem oppressive, but for me they're part of the fun. (It helps that I'm married to who I am.)
But... for me, friendship-in-the-context-of-romance stories aren't as interesting as other types of stories. Kindness and support within a romantic relationship is just part of the deal, IME; I get a jolt out of kindness and connection in unexpected places. IRL, this would be a friend who remembers what type of chocolate my child likes best, or drops everything to help when we're all sick, or something. In fiction, it's everyone in The Shrine :-), and it's the sort of fanfic I try to write.
"Forever" isn't important to me. And, again, I think this is because, IRL, I see some friendships lasting for years, some ebbing, some ending. I'd hate to not have the close friends I made in my 30s, not to make new friends now, even if it meant I had held more tightly to the people I adored in my 20s that I've drifted away from. It's just... life, and it's largely good.
So I'm not looking for New Best Friends for John and Rodney et al., but emotionally I'm okay if they get them.
RE: Slash as permission to stick together... I'm still working my head around that one, but I think this distills a lot about slash I don't get. (It being permission for emotional intimacy is something it took me a long time to realize.)
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I'm greatly enjoying the conversations going on in response to this post, btw! And wish I had the time, and the talent, to participate more.
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Yk, I have never, ever considered this as a possible POV! There are lots of ways fiction, and SGA both in canon and in fanfic, isn't like reality (space vampires? solving complicated problems in 44 minutes? Non-repetitive dialog?) but for me fiction is a reflection of reality; a conversation with it.
This is my main problem with slash/het. I go from "okay, let's assume X would be attracted to/interested in a man/woman/energy being" to "okay, what sort of man/woman/energy being would he go for" - I don't think Rodney would necessarily fall for either John or Jennifer, nor do I necessarily think relationships with either of them would work, long-term. I think of the more ambitious people (esp. physicists) I know, and what relationships actually work for them, and they tend to couple best with people with no ambitions of their own or with people very, very much like themselves. So, either Chuck or Zelenka. And since I don't want to write Rodney/Chuck or Rodney/Zelenka, it dies there.
As friends, though, I can see John and Rodney (or Jim and Blair :-) ) orbiting each other for a long, long time.
What upsets me most is being thrown out of a show or a story by sloppiness - a poor choice of a guest star (like with Larrin) or getting simple science wrong (global warming isn't going to turn Earth into a barren rock - gravity is not about to stop working, we're not going to vent our atmosphere and oceans) or giving a character backstory that doesn't make sense (pretty much any science backstory of any character in the SG universe). OOC behavior only really, really bothers me if it makes me think there's a plot reason for the OOCness and there isn't. Otherwise, it's food for fanfic.
(4) There *is* something more to a sexual relationship than it being merely the logical extension of another sort of relationship, else people would have a lot more sexual partners concurrently than they tend to.
Hmm, I'm curious what this is a response to - Gero's ideas, or my comments above, or something else. If it's to my comments, I don't actually see sex as a "logical extension" of friendship, but more a possible extension.
It was in response to one of your early comments on this post, but I've read what you've written further about it and I see where you're coming from.
Personally, I *like* love and marriage and being part of a couple and the adventure of raising children together. I was struck by
But... for me, friendship-in-the-context-of-romance stories aren't as interesting as other types of stories. Kindness and support within a romantic relationship is just part of the deal, IME; I get a jolt out of kindness and connection in unexpected places. IRL, this would be a friend who remembers what type of chocolate my child likes best, or drops everything to help when we're all sick, or something. In fiction, it's everyone in The Shrine :-), and it's the sort of fanfic I try to write.
"Forever" isn't important to me. And, again, I think this is because, IRL, I see some friendships lasting for years, some ebbing, some ending. I'd hate to not have the close friends I made in my 30s, not to make new friends now, even if it meant I had held more tightly to the people I adored in my 20s that I've drifted away from. It's just... life, and it's largely good.
So I'm not looking for New Best Friends for John and Rodney et al., but emotionally I'm okay if they get them.
RE: Slash as permission to stick together... I'm still working my head around that one, but I think this distills a lot about slash I don't get. (It being permission for emotional intimacy is something it took me a long time to realize.)
- - - - -
I'm greatly enjoying the conversations going on in response to this post, btw! And wish I had the time, and the talent, to participate more.