Hmmm... let me see if I can explain this. While I *do* see what you're saying about defining the mystery, on a totally illogical level (which is, of course, the level where we're operating when we fan *g*) it's usually profoundly uncomfortable for me to write or read sex in the context of a relationship that gives off a strong family vibe for me; it trips my incest squick like whoa. I don't have a moral problem with consensual incest and I can even write it if I try (there's canon incest in two of my original stories, actually) but it's still something that squicks me, and though I know "adopted" siblings aren't the same as flesh-and-blood siblings, it still trips the same wires in my head. I've dealt with it in SGA by trying not to overtly think of them as family when I'm reading ship fic ... in fact, come to think of it, I think that's why I've been downplaying the "family" thing in general over the last year or so, both in my fic and in my head -- my preferred mental model for them used to be family/siblings, but it's more like dorm-mates or roommates these days. I can do family; I can do sex; I can't do family having sex with each other, at least in anything other than a profoundly messed-up kind of way. And I've been reading a fair amount of pairing (in different combinations) and OT4 with the team. Innnnteresting ...! Maybe that does explain it, actually, because I had kinda wondered about that; when I typed "brothers" for the John/Rodney relationship, above, it reminded me that back in season three, I used to *love* thinking of them that way, and I really don't/can't anymore. I think this is directly attributable to reading slash; it means that "family" is no-go territory for me now with them, at least in a warm-fuzzy sort of way rather than a weird/screwed-up way.

And I know that this is irrational and just a matter of the sort of boxes where I put things in my head, but when it comes to gut-level emotional reactions to things, it doesn't matter.. Maybe that's one of the big reasons why it's really hard for me to relate strongly to a couple on both a gen and sexual level at the same time.

But your saying this about sex being part of their strangeness makes me think that it might be very interesting to write them that way -- if occasional sex was just more of their weirdness and the undefinability of their relationship; in other words, they'd still be seeking relationships with other people, but also having sex with each other, and trying to explain *that* to people outside the relationship ... I'm very intrigued by that possibility, actually.