X Never Marks the Spot

All you need to know about the current state of BTS fanning in 2 pictures

Tue, 18 Jun 2024 00:31:56 GMT

So a lot of my BTS fanning is about the music, but of course it's also all about the feels for these random Korean guys. And last week was an exciting one in boraland. June always is -- their debut was June 13, 2013, and they make a big event out of the anniversary. This Festa was extra special, though, as we got our Jin back! As the eldest member, he was the first to start his mandatory military service back in December 2022, and on June 12th he was officially discharged.

Which was a joyous countdown celebrated around the world. And the other members (who are all doing their own service now) took leave to be there at the base when he got out, so we got a minute of sweet reunion hugs and some amazing looks-photoshopped-but-it's-real shots:

courtesy of Namjoon, who was PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE for the entire time??

Yoongi due to his civil service wasn't on the scene, but they posted a pic with all seven of them later that day. And Jin did a fan meet the very next day (at his insistence, because you can't spell BTS without "overachiever") and then a couple days later Namjoon put up this group selfie:

It's hard to explain how much this last pic meant the fandom, especially when it's so far from what anyone pictures as "idols," just a bunch of ordinary guys hanging out? But it's the first pic we've gotten of all of them together and unmasked since 2022. And just seeing them so casual and comfortable with each other...

It's funny because a while ago I was talking about my BTS fanning with a friend (longtime media fan but, like me until now, not into RPF), and she mentioned something about how with idols you only ever see them made up and posed -- when that's actually one of the reasons I really starting fanning on BTS? ( Read more... )

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Xparrot reappearing after 2 years to wildly fangirl on an album? it's likelier than you think

Tue, 28 May 2024 00:40:58 GMT

Getting into BTS, fanning on a band, one thing that didn't really occur to me was how it could impact my relationship with music.

My musical tastes have always been really basic. I like what I like and so I've collected a diverse playlist over time (Jpop from anime, miscellaneous songs from fanvids, that time I got obsessed with Blind Guardian) but I mostly tend to go for music that I'd call "accessible," the sort that I can decide within a single listen whether I like it or not.

So a couple of days ago a member of BTS, RM, band leader (and my bias), released his second solo album. "Right Place, Wrong Person" is self-described alternative/experimental hip-hop/pop/??? -- one friend said he's going through his Sgt. Pepper phase -- and I listened to it when it dropped going 😅😅😬😅😂😅

It wasn't a surprise -- we knew he'd been working with an indy Kpop collective, and he'd performed one song from it before, which was already pretty off the beaten path (in retrospect, "Come Back to Me" is by far the most standard pop song on the album!) But RPWP is, in a word, weird -- rough and raw and very definitely Not My Kind of Music. Not something I'd ever seek out or listen to again.

Except because Namjoon's part of BTS, so I have this parasocial attachment that means I want to hear what he has to say -- and because his last solo album I absolutely adore, though it's a completely different beast -- I did listen to it again.

And again.

And several more times, and every time I enjoy it more? Not even in an "appreciating art" way but in a vibing, bopping along, riffs-getting-stuck-in-my-head want-to-hear-it-again way.

( Read more... )

In conclusion: fanning on music is fun, and I'm happy to have this gateway into it!

So anyway, hey! how are you doing? Anyone still here?

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confessions of a fangirl mind

Mon, 02 May 2022 06:36:43 GMT

When I got into BTS, I was expecting to have fun with silly variety shows and blatant fanbait, and to appreciate their dancing (which I have and I do!). I seriously was not expecting to love their music as much as I do.

I also assumed that however much I enjoyed myself, I was too old to become one of those fans who gets all excited because their bias* changes his haircolor.

Then there was the sound I made when I went on Instagram yesterday...

(but it's black! it's never black, he always bleaches! awww! :D :D :D)

* One of the things I've liked from the first is the use of "bias" instead of "favorite" -- while I'm not sure it's the intent, to me it carries the implication that you don't have a favorite; of course they're all your favorites! Just that you have a bit of a lean in a certain direction. But after being in fandoms where picking favorites led to fandom rifts *cough*SPN*cough* I very much appreciate the prevailing opinion that true ARMYs love** all seven.

** I will spare you (for now) the extended ramble about parasocial relationships and the differences of having favorite characters in a fictional creation vs having emotional investment in real human beings who you know on a one-sided, controlled, commodified basis...but guys, being into RPF is so interesting!

(and he looks so cute with black hair!!!)

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tap tap is this thing on...?

Sun, 01 May 2022 06:35:12 GMT

So I've been thinking that I want to try to get back online more, somehow. And this is a nice small place to start.

--There's no real explanation for where I've been! Just that I'm an introvert who lives in a large and active household that I love, but it got a bit overwhelming during the pandemic lockdowns. Now that I have the house to myself again sometimes, I've reached the point of actually wanting more social interaction again.

Also am trying to not be too embarrassed about how my main fandom for going on two years now has been BTS. Midway through the pandemic my sister and I went fuck it, we need something to cheer us up. She had a friend who'd been trying to get her into them for years, so we got a list of vids to start with. And. Yeah. It was simultaneously exactly what I was expecting and completely contrary to what I thought. I didn't think I would fall so hard, and I love it. I've never really done RPF or music fandom before, so getting that new perspective on those ways to fan has been fascinating. The enjoyment of music + the intensity of fanning is a potent combo. And they're good kids -- good men. For the celebrities to set the tone for the new age, we could do a lot worse. Plus it took me a while to get into the fic and figure out what I wanted from it, but when I finally did it got me reading again after a long drought, and writing at last too. Really, of all the fandoms I've been in, this is one of the ones that's just made me the happiest. So no regrets.

(and the LA PtD concert was incredible!)

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Sundial exchange!

Wed, 17 Feb 2021 07:56:12 GMT

The sundial_exchange went live last Friday and now is up to an incredibly 171 works and counting! Guardian had a great showing but The Lost Tomb came in a strong second.

My gift was amazing:

A Tolerance for Pain (18470 words) by marycrawford
Chapters: 3/3
Fandom: 镇魂 | Guardian (TV 2018)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan
Characters: Shen Wei (Guardian), Zhao Yunlan, Da Qing (Guardian)
Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Presumed Dead, Not Really Character Death, set after Episode 23 (the one with the Kitchen Scene), Canon Divergence, Magical Exhaustion
Summary:

Shen Wei faced the storm and let it break around him. In the center of catastrophe, he closed his eyes. He could hear no heartbeats, could feel no life around him other than his own.

Zhao Yunlan. Where are you?

18K of presumed dead!!! and other angst!!! Shen Wei being totally metal and then getting to nap (in Zhao Yunlan's arms, of course) -- I could not have asked for more (actually I didn't, I totally forgot to put "presumed dead" in my wants, but marycrawford is a mind-reader among her other skills and knew just what I want!) Plus the resolution of the antagonist is just what I like (Zhao Yunlan, you softie) and there are tasty bits of headcanon for flavor throughout -- so good!

And I also! got treats?!

Cover art for my story "How to break up with your boyfriend" by naye
Such an adorable image, with the blog title and everything, and HAH Zhu Hong! Such the perfect attitude!

Fanart: Traces in the snow by yue_ix
Gorgeous Zhao Yunlan h/c that manages to tell a whole story in a single image (Shen Weeeeiiiii come rescue your boyfriend stat!!)

I wrote a The Lost Tomb Reboot post-canon fic for laireshi, who has the most excellent taste in h/c, and Xiaoge hides pain with the best iron woobies (until he can't):

Nor Shall the Flame Scorch You (11546 words) by Xparrot
Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV), 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Wang Pangzi & Wu Xie & Zhang Qiling, Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling
Characters: Zhang Qiling, Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Action/Adventure, Post-Canon, Poison, Fever, Peril, just constant peril, Xiaoge Has a Bad Day, Tombs Are Very Dangerous, especially when your resident badass is down for the count, (technically it's a temple but who's counting), Iron Triangle feels

The bronze needle was tiny, not three centimeters long and without even a tuft of feathers to mark it. Zhang Qiling closed his fingers around it, plucked it from his biceps and tossed it away.

I've been working through the rest, should do some recs later!

--But don't miss naye's TLTR vid! I've been waiting for this one to come out since she finished it. If you know the Iron Triangle, here is 3 minutes of solid squee; and if you don't know them yet, find out why you should if you're an h/c fan:

[vid] I'll Wait (314 words) by Naye Visuals
Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Wang Pangzi & Wu Xie & Zhang Qiling
Characters: Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling
Additional Tags: Fanvids, Iron Triangle feels, Any configuration you want them, It's all about the love, Also about the whump and the holding, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Video Format: Streaming, Video Format: MP4
Summary:

3-minute fanvid celebrating the love the Iron Triangle have for each other.

I'll wait, I'll wait to be the one
To catch you when you're falling
Always, always, I'll be the one
To answer when you're calling

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fic, unexpected

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 02:04:57 GMT

After months of not writing anything (I blame 2020 in general and life specifically) I actually posted a fic! I was listening to podcasts and a story from Reply All's PJ Vogt was so terribly awkward that I just had to do something with it. So, completely silly Guardian fluff that got so ridiculous it's set in an unexplained mundane AU, because I couldn't actually picture it happening in canon. What can I say, it's been that kind of year.

I always forget just how much writing lifts my mood and satisfies me until I manage to do it. Definitely have to do more of it. Not least of which because in a fit of ambition I signed up for sundial_exchange and my assignment is amazingly inspiring and I can't wait to get to it. So wish me luck with the words?

Meanwhile, there's this:

How to Break Up with Your Boyfriend (5948 words) by Xparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 镇魂 | Guardian (TV 2018)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shěn Wēi/Zhào Yúnlán
Characters: Zhào Yúnlán, Shěn Wēi, Dà Qìng, Zhù Hóng
Additional Tags: Romantic Comedy, Fluff, Misunderstandings, mundane AU, because they’re never quite this bad in canon?, no boyfriends are actually broken up with in this fic
Summary:

Shen Wei isn't the first person Zhao Yunlan has shared his bed with. Sharing this, though — this is new.

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Sunday surprise!

Sun, 13 Sep 2020 22:56:28 GMT

Because Chinese drama scheduling is...a wild ride, after weeks of speculation and rumors about when the second and final season of The Lost Tomb Reboot was coming, yesterday Iqiyi finally made an announcement. Said announcement was, the new season starts in 8 hours!! Here's an hourly countdown! Also we're releasing the first 8 episodes all at once for VIP!

So yes we have more Tomb Show!! I've only watched the first ep, but I'm looking forward to what's to come.

Especially because the scene I've been dying to see, which I've been worried would get cut for time or whatever, instead was actually used as a poster promo -- so yeah, probably not cut, and also I am so pleased that I am not the only one who apparently fell in love with that shot...

In related news, naye has put together an in-depth episode guide for season 1, which includes time stamps, so if you want to just watch the good stuff and get summaries of the rest, there's now an easy way. (Which honestly I would recommend. This is one of the most uneven shows I've ever seen, in the gulf between the parts I absolutely adore and the parts I find almost unwatchably boring. But the good stuff is SO good I still want to recommend it to anyone who enjoys h/c and idiot friends on adventures, leavened occasionally with really tasty angst.)

Otherwise life is going on. The sky is less apocalyptically yellow today than it was yesterday. I haven't been writing much, but the sister and I have a new...not exactly a fandom...keeping us amused (along with a good chunk of the rest of the planet. I don't know why it's so relaxing to watch seven ridiculous Korean boys roadtripping around New Zealand and sharing beds and having unabashedly terrible car singalongs despite being one of the most famous music acts in the world, but it is? It's what I needed right now, somehow...)

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Fic: TLTR: a place of refuge

Mon, 24 Aug 2020 01:34:57 GMT

Writing has been less than happening so I don't have a Sunday snippet, but I did post a short fic last week for DMBJ/Reunion:TSotP/The Lost Tomb Reboot (the last seems to be sticking the most in English-speaking fandom, as "TLTR" but who knows if that will last!)

--And I need to post a longer thing on that, because s1 ended and it was completely ridiculous and I didn't enjoy the second half nearly as much as the first, but what I love in the show I REALLY love, making everything else worth it, and I want the second half so badly, you have no idea.

In the meantime, fic! Extremely gratuitous gen h/c, and yes it feels as comfortable as an old pair of slippers.

a place of refuge (2113 words) by Xparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 盗墓笔记重启 | The Lost Tomb Reboot (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Wang Pangzi & Wu Xie, Wang Pangzi & Wu Xie & Zhang Qiling
Characters: Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Wang Pangzi, Zhang Qiling
Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Gratuitous Wu Xie Whump, Nightmares, migraines, Holding, all I want is Iron Triangle cuddles okay?, Present Tense, Podfic Available
Summary:

Wu Xie has nightmares. Fortunately he also has friends.

[Podfic read by Naye]

Also Lucifer s5 dropped -- only have seen a couple eps but it's definitely still Lucifer and so I'm enjoying it -- and we're finally catching up with s2 of the new DuckTales and it makes me happy. And we watched The Mandalorian and I was surprised how much I enjoyed it, not only because Baby Yoda was so cute I was in paroxysms of squee every time he was on screen, but also it proved to be in a genre that seems to be growing in popularity, of shows that have the trappings of grimdark and then are actually not that, because the supposed antiheroes are really just heroes and completely, catastrophically fail at pretending to be otherwise. The Expanse is like that, too, and I hope to see more like it!

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on the sweet agony of being a fan

Fri, 24 Jul 2020 03:23:09 GMT

I'm so bad about spoilers -- I don't like them in theory, I really enjoy watching stuff unspoiled. But in practice I find them so hard to resist. And fanning on cdrama is terrible for this because they spoil everything -- like, it's generally a good idea not to watch the closing credits of a cdrama, unless you want to see key scenes from the final episodes. And they release so much promo material for shows...and they know fans, they know what fans want to see, and how to tease them.

Which is to say I have seen so many shots and clip from coming eps of DMBJ, and am suffering for it in the best and worst ways. There's one screencap especially that's been slowly killing me (and I put it on my phone so it could kill me more)(the silliest thing is it's probably not that major a scene, the odds are good it will end up on the cutting room floor anyway; and yet it's what I'm loving in the show in a single image?)

( spoilers for an unknown future ep of DMBJ, and me going all art analysis on a random screencap )

(and ah I need an icon for this show! I already have another shot I want one for...I just have to wait until it airs? ^^;;;;)

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on Daomu Biji (The Lost Tomb/Tomb Notes): Reunion: The Sound of the Providence

Wed, 22 Jul 2020 04:59:48 GMT

It feels like we've been waiting for this show forever, but last week it finally dropped, and guys...guys, it is so good???? Ten episodes in (yes we signed up for VIP access) it's fun and funny and has already had more h/c scenarios than many shows manage in three seasons. I have no idea how they're going to escalate from here and I can't wait to find out. Whatever else the show had going for it, I was assuming Zhu Yilong would look gorgeous and act wonderfully, and I was hoping for some whump -- and it's got all that and then some; but I wasn't expecting it to be THIS friendshippy, I was not prepared.

I'd recommend this to any fans of the Stargate series -- in particular, if you enjoy the parts of Stargate that are "a team of huge dorks run around poking at alien things that they should know better than to touch and getting in trouble and surviving by the skin of their teeth." It's basically Chinese Indiana Jones, about a trio of guys raiding ancient tombs that are filled with priceless treasure and magic artifacts and also the usual assortment of diabolical traps, animate mummies, and creepy supernatural monsters.

Wu Xie (trying to buck up his friends after they land in like the 5th life-threatening peril in as many hours): We have two things to rely on: luck, and our tacit understanding!

Pangzi: Do we really have a tacit understanding? Didn't we just get by so far on luck?

The chemistry between the Iron Triangle is fantastic -- they feel like guys who have been friends forever, they've got their own secret language and everything. Still, how they've survived their job/hobby is anyone's guess because they're complete idiots (okay, two idiots, one wildly skilled immortal badass who is constantly getting in trouble too because he has to save his idiot BFFs). The show is pretty much all action-adventure all the time -- action-adventure as written by a fanfic writer. Ten episodes in we've already had: ( spoilers for tropes )

For the record, while like other cdramas I've talked about, this show is adapted from Chinese webnovels, in this case it's not a danmei (m/m romance) book but a straight action/horror series. ...That being said, Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling is apparently one of the more popular slash ships in China. Though honestly I'm not even shipping them that hard, because I am enjoying the friendship of their trio so much. I love how for both Pangzi and Qiling, Wu Xie is probably their most important person, but this doesn't engender any jealousy between them; instead they're completely united in Team Wu Xie Is Precious And Must Be Protected, And Seriously He Is So Challenging To Keep Alive, Like an Orchid Or Something, Our Lives Are Very Hard.

The show does come with a few caveats: ( cut for mildly spoilery warnings and squee-harshing )

There's only 10 episodes out so far (out of 30+ this season and another 30+ to come, all already filmed) so I don't know where it will be going from here, but I'm definitely looking forward to it (is it Wednesday yet???)

You can watch it (legally, for free, with English subs) on Iqiyi's site. (the first four eps are available to everyone, with 4 new ones a week).

(Ahh I need an icon!)

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Guardian fic & Cdrama

Sun, 12 Jul 2020 23:48:54 GMT

No Sunday snippet but I wrote a bit of Guardian fluff last week:

turn the lights off, carry me home (2867 words)

"I don't need to be indulged," Zhao Yunlan told him.

"Naturally not," Shen Wei said.

Zhao Yunlan grinned back at him. "I like it when you do, though."

It felt good to be putting words down, and hanging out with the characters wondering what they were going to say next, I hope I can manage it again soon! (I signed up for Camp NaNo this month but it hasn't been happening, I've decided to just let it go for now and relax and write when I can...)

The sister and I have been watching The Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty -- we're a little less than halfway through and loving it so far. It's got a big enough budget to look great, with good pacing and fun comedy while knowing how to bring the melodrama at the right time, and the characters are all a lovable mess.

It's the classic "talented misfits meet up, team up and then they solve crime!" set in the Ming Dynasty (late 1400s China). The two leads are both marvelous badass squishes with hearts of gold, and then the third of their trio is...kind of terrifying, like Mei Changsu with less of a conscience. But then the other two have consciences working overtime -- one is a soft-spoken, wildly honorable ex-soldier imperial guard with PTSD, amazing cooking skills, and a big empty house that quickly gets filled up with lunatics in need of a home; the other is a broke and brilliant, idealistic young government official who is a total brat and kind of a hedonistic glutton, up until the point someone he cares about gets in trouble and then he stops eating or sleeping and pulls out all the stops to help. And he starts caring about people in about ten minutes. So yeah, they're adorable. And they get an adopted daughter who is basically a sweets-eating super-computer, plus a mad scientist doctor, a Mongol princess (chief?) and her loyal retainer, a baby goat...

It's like Nirvana in Fire in that it's mostly Imperial court drama with wuxia elements tossed in to keep things exciting, though it's lighter in tone than NiF. And like Guardian and The Untamed, it's an adaptation of a danmei novel that they turned the major relationship from a romance into "brotherhood," though so far this one isn't exploiting the romance angle so much, as the emphasis is more on the found family overall. Plus there's been some bits of nice h/c so far and Tumblr gifs have promised more to come, so we're looking forward to that! (Want to see bad things happen to Tang Fan because he's got so many people who are going to be Not Happy with anyone who hurts him...!)

(Also Sui Zhou's actor (Fu Mengbo) is like a Chinese version of Kris Holden-Ried, who played Dyson on Lost Girl -- he's got the exact same low calm voice, it's spooky to me how similar they sound, even speaking in completely different languages?)

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on anti-racism in fandom/the OTW

Sat, 20 Jun 2020 06:24:56 GMT

equalityauction is running a fandom charity auction for Black Lives Matter charities. (here are Guardian offers!)

There is currently a lot of discussion going on re: racism in fandom and the OTW's past and present failures to support BIPOC fans. Most of it is happening Twitter so if like me you're rarely on that platform, you can check out naye's recent summaries and roundups:

What's up with the AO3 and racism?
June 18th Roundup on Racism in Fandom
June 19th Twitter Roundup on AO3 & Racism

goss is looking for other BIPOC fans on Dreamwidth

There's also:

Open Letter to the OTW on Racism in Fandom

I signed the above; if you use AO3, or Fanlore, or anything else with the OTW, I urge you to read it and sign it too.

(In all honesty I don't have much faith that internet petitions do much beyond create a momentary sense of comraderie and shared purpose. But that's what the whole OTW was founded on anyway, so it feels like maybe this could mean something.)

( a few more thoughts on the OTW )

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Sunday Snippet: Guardian

Sun, 24 May 2020 23:25:49 GMT

Life continues to be very busy but it's currently feeling...manageable? Yay for longer days, and for coffee & tea, and for getting to introduce things like Toy Story to kidlets for the first time (though the climax of Toy Story 3 was too intense and required cuddles. Aww.)

Plus, after almost three weeks of not writing a word, I seem to have found my way back to a few of them! And returned a fic I've been working on for over a year now. Does it still make sense? I don't even know! But I like the story (for the aaaaaaangst) and hope to someday share it in more than a few random pieces.

Until then, though -- another random piece:

Da Qing nodded. "Lao-Zhao's worried about the same thing. But what could they try this late anyway? If we sleep now, then we'll be awake later to catch them, whatever they're up to."

Which was uniquely feline logic, but Shen Wei could not deny that a little rest might be restorative. Or else that was just his own weakness--of his injured lung, and his heart too, when Da Qing said, imploringly, "Come on, Lao-Zhao will want me to tell him you got some sleep, and I hate lying to him..."

That was asking too much, perhaps; but Shen Wei at least changed into pajamas. He didn't go to the bedroom, though, but sat back down on the couch to meditate.

Da Qing grumbled, but sat down beside him, round and furred. Curling up with his curving spine pressed against the side of Shen Wei's leg, he said softly, "Shen-laoshi--it's going to be okay."

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Fic: Guardian: A Measure of the Receding Tide

Sat, 25 Apr 2020 02:10:11 GMT

Posted a new fic! More of the porn I was mysteriously writing; like the last, this is in the Dixing flowering continuity, but a sequel rather than a prequel so less angsty. It's not the actual main sequel I have started (which may or may not happen, depending ^^;) but while I was working on that, this came up. Because I can never get enough of exploring aftermaths, and they have a lot to deal with...

A Measure of the Receding Tide (2809 words) by Xparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 镇魂 | Guardian (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shěn Wēi/Zhào Yúnlán
Characters: Shěn Wēi, Zhào Yúnlán
Additional Tags: Porn with Feelings, Comfort Sex, Established Relationship, Aftermath, Recovery
Series: Part 3 of Dixing Pon Farr
Summary:

A sequel to "Deep Waters Closing Over Our Heads"

Weeks after the flowering, Zhao Yunlan noticed, but he wasn't going to push it. He was just so damn grateful that Shen Wei still wanted him. And they had time—Shen Wei could take the time, as much as he needed.

--With the usual caveats that I have no business writing smut or any idea what I'm doing; I don't know if any of this is hot, but hopefully it's sweet, at least? ^^;

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Sunday Snippet: Guardian, and how I am the worst slash and gen fan ever

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 00:34:04 GMT

The last few weeks have been very confusing for me writing-wise because somehow my brain decided to deal with all the stress and disruption of present times by making me write porn. Which is pretty normal stress-relief for a lot of people, but I...am just not into smut? For the longest time I've said I'm both the worse gen fan ever because I have so many ships; but also the worst slash fan because while I love romance, I always just skim the sticky bits.

I've been writing explicit stuff on occasion for years now -- I actually enjoy writing it more than reading it, have never figured that one out -- but this run I think is about the most I've ever written at once (...and I think it's pretty tame stuff really, but it feels like A Lot to me ^^;;;)

But I seem to be working it out of my system because last night I went back to an old and much-loved trope wheelhouse and wrote pure angst and ahh, it was very nice! Not sure yet what I'm going to do with this, if anything. But there was some talk on Twitter a bit ago about presumed dead and how there wasn't enough of it in Guardian fic, and this is a variation on one of the ideas that came up...

( Read more... )

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Fic: Guardian: Beseech the Storm

Wed, 15 Apr 2020 00:38:40 GMT

Joined Camp NaNo for this month to continue the 'write every day' trend started last month, and sticking to a low wordcount goal still is working; I finished another fic!

It's a prequel to Deep Waters Closing Over Our Heads, the mating heat fic that doesn't actually have any sex and is all about hurt/comfort instead, because that's the way I roll. But the questions and issues raised by the scenario were something I've wanted to further explore.

Beseech the Storm (9960 words) by Xparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 镇魂 | Guardian (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Shěn Wēi/Other
Characters: Shěn Wēi, Original Character
Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Consent, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Dixing Pon Farr, Superpower Sex, dark energy, Old Haixing Era, (pre-Kunlun), POV Original Character, Present Tense
Series: Part 2 of Dixing Pon Farr
Summary:

"I chose to come to you," Xia Zhu says, as Fu You instructed him to. Not seductively but plainly; that, she'd told him too. "I asked for this honor."

Hei Pao Shi advances another step. He's near enough now that Xia Zhu can smell leather and sweat—like any soldier, though there's an underlying musk; different than the burning braziers, sweet like incense yet sharp in the nose like frost. "It's not an honor," Hei Pao Shi says.

To clarify those tags, there is sex (for me it's explicit, but probably not very by most standards); none of it is noncon; but the situation is complicated (feel free to ask me for more details).

And for the record, if you liked the first story but this one doesn't sound like your cup of tea -- I get you; honestly, if I hadn't written it, I wouldn't be reading this myself, between the pairing and the rating. ^^; Even if I do more fic in this series, this one wouldn't be required to understand it. All the same, I'm quite pleased with how it came out (and for what it's worth, I consider it OTP compliant in spite of the pairing). (Also as always <333 to naye, who spoils me rotten with prereading comments and then goes above and beyond with beta advice; none of this is her fault, but it is so much the better for her!)

--And yeah, I've made it a series because I'm likely writing more for it (though what I've got so far is rather different in tone from any of this before it...)

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Sunday Snippet: Guardian

Mon, 30 Mar 2020 00:07:17 GMT

Things are stressful but overall okay here for now. Like everyone we're operating on a "could be worse" basis, and yeah, things could be a lot worse for us.

In a more traditional whine (just like old times!), March is almost over, and I've managed to write every day so far -- my tally last night was a measly 155 words, I've only broken 1,000 twice this month, and it's frustrating as hell (I've done NaNo more than once, for pity's sake!). And there was just a Guardian exchange that I didn't sign up for, in large part because I'm so uncertain about my words now and the particular format of the exchange unduly stressed me out; but I do work better on deadlines, more often than not, and with a recipient to not let down -- responsibility is a good motivator...

...So I'm dealing with the stress and self-doubt by working on fic that I know no one will read -- okay, that's not totally true, my lovely and kind naye is reading it! But I wouldn't read it, for all I want to write it (it's Shen Wei/other, pre-Kunlun, a prequel to the Dixing pon farr fic that's not even h/c, basically just all angst?)

( Snippet (T-rated (at least this bit) and this is not noncon, but the situation and the consent are complicated) )

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Guardian fic

Tue, 24 Mar 2020 22:58:43 GMT

I started writing this last month, when I needed some escapism from life getting stressful, and now just about everyone can use a little escapism, so...

Flowers & Grass (9820 words) by Xparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: 镇魂 | Guardian (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shěn Wēi/Zhào Yúnlán
Characters: Shěn Wēi, Zhào Yúnlán
Additional Tags: Action/Adventure, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Altered Mental States, Magic Pollen, not exactly sex pollen, much to Zhao Yunlan's disappointment
Summary:

Zhao Yunlan studied Shen Wei's face in the flashlight's reflected glow. "Just how high are you right now?"

Shen Wei blinked. "We're quite deep underground," he pointed out.

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A few encouraging fannish things!

Thu, 12 Mar 2020 05:40:29 GMT

undeadrobins is hosting a pan-fandom Kissathon -- gen/platonic as well as ships; stop by and leave a prompt or a fill!

The inaugural Kissathon!

I just posted a fill - WeiLan, naturally, to her lovely prompt "a surefire way of stopping an argument"

Still blocked; efforts at writing every day have been encouraged by sakana17 hosting this month's appropriately named Write Every Day event. ...Which I haven't actually gotten up the whatever to check in on, since I've mostly only been managing a couple hundred words. But seeing the daily check-in posts has been inspiring, and it means by the end of the week I find myself with a thousand-odd words that I didn't have before; I'll take it!

And also! naye, who last month posted a podfic of my completely ridiculous Guardian fic Out of Focus, just followed it up with a podfic of the sequel Focus Pull. Which is even more ridiculous and also over 20K -- the podfic is 2.5 hours long, guys!!! -- and is one of the most fluffily self-indulgent things I've ever written and I kind of love it too much, and I love the podfic way way too much. It's beautiful and perfect and her drunk!Shen Wei voice is amazing and hilariously adorable. Go listen and tell naye she is brilliant and also completely nuts!

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Sunday Snippet: Guardian fic

Sun, 01 Mar 2020 21:07:23 GMT

Things have been stressful lately and I haven't been writing, which really doesn't help my stress levels. I started this and then haven't gotten back to it but I'm posting it here in hopes of prodding myself.

...And yeah, stress means self-indulgence, which means...I believe the formal term is "back on my bullshit." :P

"Shen Wei?" Zhao Yunlan tilted the flashlight up toward his face, and Shen Wei raised his free hand to shade his eyes.

"Shen Wei, why aren't you wearing your breathing mask?" Zhao Yunlan demanded.

Shen Wei blinked back the momentary sparkles to look at Zhao Yunlan's face--his eyes were narrowed, echoing the inexplicable alarm in his voice. "My what?"

Zhao Yunlan reached to the annoying encumbrance hanging around Shen Wei's neck, gave it a tug. "Oh," Shen Wei said, "that--I couldn't properly smell the fragrance with it on."

"Yeah," Zhao Yunlan said, "wasn't that the point?"

Shen Wei tried to think. He had a vague memory of Lin Jing explaining something while giving them the masks, but the details slipped his mind now. But Zhao Yunlan was looking at him expectantly, so he hazarded, "Yes, that was the point."

"But then you took off the mask to better smell the murder flower's poison pollen."

"Yes, I did," Shen Wei confirmed, relieved to be on more certain ground.

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The Guardian Sundial Exchange!

Tue, 28 Jan 2020 03:55:50 GMT

The sundial_exchange went live this weekend for Lunar New Year, with 61 and counting works for Guardian and adjacent fandoms!

I got not one but two podfic for two of my Guardian fic, courtesy of the inestimable knight_tracer . She has a lovely Shen Wei narrative voice, be sure to check them out:

[Podfic of] no more yielding read by knight_tracer
WeiLan, rated Teen
Podfic Length: 13:34 (mp3/m4b)

[Podfic of] long lonely time, repod by knight_tracer
WeiLan, rated Teen
Podfic Length: 8:29 (mp3/m4b)

And I wrote a fic for blathering_kat!

Will Keep on Shining by Xparrot
Chapters: 2/2 (21,089 words)
Fandom: 镇魂 | Guardian (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shěn Wēi/Zhào Yúnlán
Characters: Zhào Yúnlán, Shěn Wēi, SID team, Lǐ Qiàn
Additional Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, at episode 40, dark energy, Light Energy, Saving the World, is their specialty, communication less so, but they can figure it out with time
Summary:

When Ye Zun's face twisted with fury, when he reached out his hand to take Zhao Yunlan's essence from him, there was a part of Zhao Yunlan that wanted nothing more than to close his eyes and let him. To let go and be drawn in; to be where Shen Wei was, with him again one final time before the end.

—But nothing happened.

Manderkat very wonderfully asked for a fix-it with h/c and gave me an excuse to cram all my various thoughts and speculation and headcanons into a fic that I didn't quite manage to keep to the 10K words I was anticipating. Mostly thanks to Shen Wei being excessively Shen Wei.

...This is the second Guardian fanworks fest that I ended up writing the longest fic in the fest. With most of it written in the week before it was due. Oh dear. naye came in less than 1K words behind me though with her marvelous arranged marriage hijinks, so I'm not the only ridiculous one here!

I'm also amused that nearly all of my Guardian fic are set in handwavy post-canon, yet the one time I haven't handwaved and actually just fixed it, I somehow did a version that is incompatible with any other fic I've written. Whoops?

Anyway there is a ton of fantastic fic and art and podfic in the fest, so check them all out!

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Sunday Snippet: Guardian

Mon, 23 Dec 2019 04:20:03 GMT

Happy holidays & season's greetings!

I've been blocked with writing lately so haven't had much to post...but I've been trying to force myself to write at least a couple hundred words a day, and though I'm frustrated with them, that's 3K more words than I had last week, so that's something! And last night I was plotting out my sundial_exchange fic and think I have something workable.

This is my angst fic, which I'm back at work on...only it's gone all plotty on me and now Xiao-Guo is undercover and Zhu Hong and Shen Wei have been debating Dixing-Yashou politics and I don't even know. But there is some angst still...

Shen Wei moved his trembling fingers, typed into the phone, You shouldn't risk this, Zhao Yunlan.

Then he stared at those stark words, and wrote beneath them, I miss you too.

Just a few characters--they weren't enough. But then, as spoken words they would still be inadequate. Far too small things to encompass the hollowness of the last few days--the fear of not knowing, the yawning emptiness.

He'd lived for years without Zhao Yunlan--waiting for Kunlun, for that promise to be fulfilled. He'd known loneliness, and the constant tug of yearning.

But that was nothing to this now--now, when he knew what it meant to have a life with Zhao Yunlan. Not just stolen moments between battles and nights hidden from the others, but to share work, meals, a bed. To make for him a home, and live in it with him, and know he would be coming back to it every night--Shen Wei hadn't realized how completely he had acclimated to it. Begun to expect it, to rely on it, in some deep unconscious part of himself. So to be deprived, even for those few days--to face that he might never have it again, no longer even waiting, but just--

The phone buzzed: I miss you so much, Xiao-Wei

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'tis the season for exchanges!

Wed, 11 Dec 2019 23:57:41 GMT

Finally signed up for the sundial_exchange !

For anyone into Guardian who hasn't signed up yet, you have another couple days to do so. It's a low-commitment exchange (you can offer any type of fanwork; the minimum wordcount for fic is 500 words) open to any Guardian canon as well as everything actor-adjacent, so RPF or any show or commercial with either Zhu Yilong or Bai Yu.

In other fanworks news, naye worked her podficcing magic on another of my stories -- over an hour of super fluffy WeiLan sickfic! :D

Spark, read by Naye

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WeiLan Week day 7

Thu, 28 Nov 2019 22:31:04 GMT

Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate, and happy fanning likewise!

--And I am planning on doing days 4-6 of WeiLan week eventually, but for now:

Weilan Week 2019 day 7 prompt: Say one Weilan/Guardian thing you're grateful for, and wish Guardian a happy birthday!

Happy birthday, Guardian! I'm grateful to be in a fandom with so many other creative people to collaborate with and enjoy what they make!

Such as my marvelous naye, who recently got into reading podfic -- and not only did she read several of her own awesome stories (I especially enjoyed her poetical rendition of This heart I gave you to hold is still beating), but two of mine as well:
Scars, and 'Twas Brillig -- which is over 20K words; the podfic is almost two and a half hours long!! I think it works even better in audio form, especially the end; the first time you actually hear Shen Wei's name is so affecting.

Then, frith_in_thorns is almost done posting Goblin Fruit, just one chapter to go, and I...cannot give a coherent rec of this fic, it is such a direct shot to my id, the most incredible mix of angsty h/c and devotion and magic-drug-altered POVs. But so much gratitude to Frith for letting me pre-read/beta and putting up with reactions that were 40% incoherent gibbering, 40% ridiculously overthinking nitpicking, and 40% shameless begging for even more (yes that's 120%. I'm so sorry, Frith! ^^;;;)

Finally, dzenka , who translated several of my fic into Russian and has been sharing with me a taste of the squeeful, seagull-screeching crack that is the Russian Guardian fandom (e.g. a Black-Cloaked Envoy vid...to the Darkwing Duck theme...in Russian) and is now posting their first English-language fic (a translation of their own fic from the original Russian) which I am helping beta: Where All the Light Burns Out, a long fix-it that diverges from canon in the last episodes, and I am so looking forward to seeing where it's going!

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Weilan Week day 3

Mon, 25 Nov 2019 23:05:43 GMT

...So yeah, posting regularly is not my forte? Fortunately Weilan Week allows submissions for another month!

Weilan Week 2019 day 3 prompt: longing

long lonely time (on AO3)

Been blocked fic-wise so this one got a little experimental in structure. (The title may sound less OTT angsty if you recognize the lyrics I cribbed it from :P)

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X Never Marks the Spot

All you need to know about the current state of BTS fanning in 2 pictures

Xparrot reappearing after 2 years to wildly fangirl on an album? it's likelier than you think

confessions of a fangirl mind

*tap tap* is this thing on...?

Sundial exchange!

fic, unexpected

Sunday surprise!

Fic: TLTR: a place of refuge

on the sweet agony of being a fan

on Daomu Biji (The Lost Tomb/Tomb Notes): Reunion: The Sound of the Providence

Guardian fic & Cdrama

on anti-racism in fandom/the OTW

Sunday Snippet: Guardian

Fic: Guardian: A Measure of the Receding Tide

Sunday Snippet: Guardian, and how I am the worst slash and gen fan ever

Fic: Guardian: Beseech the Storm

Sunday Snippet: Guardian

Guardian fic

A few encouraging fannish things!

Sunday Snippet: Guardian fic

The Guardian Sundial Exchange!

Sunday Snippet: Guardian

'tis the season for exchanges!

WeiLan Week day 7

Weilan Week day 3

tap tap is this thing on...?