prose de purple

[xparrot]

So mfuwss is holding a Bulwer-Lytton style worst-opening-sentences challenge, and since I cannot resist any excuse to extrude outrageous purple prose:

Illuminating was the day when Napoleon Solo's milk-chocolate-hued orbs did happen to lift from the blizzard-like expanse of paradoxically white red-tape covering his desk, and fell upon the pulse-pounding vision of Janet St. Claude, his most recent flame in a libidinous and continent-spanning candelabra, with her lithe arms encircling the sable-suited shoulders of Illya Kuryakin, his steadfast partner in profession and comradeship alike, and also, so the surprising stab of jealousy's searing hot poker occasioned Napoleon to realize at this singular instant, his one and only true love--excepting, of course, his still-mourned wife, the tragically married Clara, that THRUSH scientist chick who (it occurred to him in passing) he'd quite forgotten the name of, even as she had forgotten everything but his own name; and perhaps a dozen other women and a couple men of unsurpassed fairness and virtue--but really, the important thing was the unexpected epiphany that he wanted in Mr. Kuryakin's off-the-rack but oddly flattering trousers at the nearest possible opportunity, and Miss St. Claude would have to wait (until tomorrow morning at the very least.)

Comments

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

"most recent flame in a libidinous and continent-spanning candelabra."

Hee, I was rather partial to that line myself...

And don't be sick! Get sleep, get well! Have fun with Maren, too (What's Readercon? You'll have to fill me in...)

[stitcher2ficcer.livejournal.com]

http://readercon.org/ All literature sci-fi/fantasy convention with lively, interesting, and unusual discussion panels. Maren went for the first time last year and raved about it--her favorite sci-fi con next to World Con. A very intellectual con and community with a very strong fannish leaning as well. Check out the red "Program" tag to read their con presentation philosophy and get a sampling of how they're organized.

I was feeling much better today than yesterday, so did meet her there. We managed to squeeze in four panels and two author readings and one author talk by authors previously unknown to us who impressed us during the panels. I found myself wishing you were with us several times over the course of the day. A very meta kind of experience that I think you would greatly have enjoyed hearing and participating in.

Have you ever read The Orphan's Tales by Catherynne Valente? Her specialty is alternate tellings/novelizations of fairy tales & folk literature and of contemporary sci-fi/fantasy topics in a folk literature style. Hearing her talk about how she wrote the Orphan series, as well as her contribution to one of the panels we enjoyed, plus the response of readers who've read her work, made us both want to go right out and get this series to start reading it.

Although I recognized and have read almost no one at the con today except Ellen Kushner, I found the panels and presenters really interesting. Ellen Kushner, by the way, published a third book in the Swordspoint series in 2006, which I wasn't aware of; it's set between Swordspoint and Fall of the Kings, and it's Maren's favorite of the three. Apparently does not have the problems that made you steer away from Fall of the Kings. I didn't buy it because Maren's going to loan it to me; but I read the cover blurbs and reviews--it sounds really wonderful and satisfying.

Maybe next year we can plan to go together.

Having been fighting off this lousy cold most of the week, I am now tired to the point of falling down and my sore throat is back tonight. So now Good Night!

Love you!