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and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth
Because we watched the SV premiere. Several days ago. Yeah, it took us a while to process. Time to fan the flames of indignation, etc.
Okay, so it was better than most of last season. Unfortunately that's not saying much. If you liked the ep, don't read this. Unless you want to point & laugh at the crazy fangirls, of course! In that case, go right ahead.
We liked some bits. (The Clexy ones, specifically. And Bizarro, who was hot and shirtless. Mmm. Was that really Tom Welling's voice, or was it electronically manipulated in some way? Good show, TW.)
Most of the other bits? Not so much.
Biggest sticking point for me: Lex Luthor doesn't want revenge.
Let me repeat for posterity's sake. Lex Luthor doesn't want revenge. For his "beloved" wife who was, apparently, brutally murdered - and he doesn't care who did it. Yes, I know, saved by an angel (exhibiting powers he's observed in known aliens for several years now, but he doesn't make this logical leap - oxygen deprivation, bad writing, or a bone thrown to all of us who have believed that he saw Clark as an angel from the first moment he opened his eyes on the riverbank?), seeing world in whole new light, etc. But to not care?
The only way I can make sense of this is that Lex actually knows what Lana did, and turning himself in is in fact restitution for what he did to her before, i.e. the fake pregnancy. He's not confessing this to spare her reputation and give Lana her freedom. Or something.
(There's also the Lex-nalysis spin, that Lex is talking the fall to be punished for 33.1 et al, that after his Supergirl salvation he no longer can live with what he's done, but cannot confess those crimes because he still believes they're necessary for the sake of the planet.)
(The third thought is that he's got some mastermind plan in motion, in which his imprisonment is a key factor, perhaps to provide an alibi when the major shit goes down--oops, sorry. I was channeling JLU!Lex for a second there.)
Speaking of jail-time: Smallville Police: most incompetent ever, or just Kryptonian-blinded? So they arrest Lex Luthor on the extremely circumstantial evidence of a single recording of a private conversation in which he was arguing with his wife and strong words were spoken (although he never threatened her life outright.) It'd be hard to argue a car bomb is a crime of passion, so how exactly are the prosecutors planning on spinning this? Lex Luthor, billionaire, decides he wants the nice public murder of his wife on his record?
Meanwhile, it never occurs to the cops to talk to the infamous jealous ex-boyfriend who not only was in the papers as the third point of their love triangle, but several months before abducted the murder victim. In front of oodles of witnesses.
Presumably Lana set up Lex in some other way (assuming she's how the police get hold of that office recording) - made sure to call a couple dynamite companies from his office? Planted Vehicular Explosions for Dummies in his briefcase? - but to explain this I would have to think about how Lana smoothly and competently arranged all of this, pulling the wool over two pairs of Luthor eyes, and then I would start frothing at the mouth. I'm going to just assume that Lionel switched sides for the billionth time and helped her out, because otherwise, the frothing.
...Lex's office. That reminds me. How the hell did Lois get in there? I know Lex's security sucks, but seriously, people. Is the Luthor mansion on permanent open house? Is Lex so strapped for cash that he sells tickets?
And about Lois. Or about Clark.
gnine will be going off about this in her own post, but it bears mention - Clark lets Lois wander off to confront Lex about what happened to Chloe, even though his later conversation with Chloe herself makes it clear that Clark had a good guess what really happened, that it was Chloe's mutant genes kicking in. Therefore, letting Lois go to Lex was nothing short of criminally stupid. Not only is Lex dangerous, as Clark says - but if Lois marches in and starts demanding to know how her cousin got brought back to life...that's pretty much telling Lex exactly what Chloe's mutant power is. Which really, really wouldn't be a good idea. He'd have her trussed up and in a cell in 33.1 in five seconds flat. That power is just the finishing touch his supersoldiers need.
Clark Is Dumb, part 2 - Lana "dies" and he has the amazing revelation that humans are fragile. What about when his dad died? I felt for Jonathan there. Sorry, man, you're nothing compared to the all-consuming love-power of Lana Lang.
I also feel sorry for Chloe. She's crying her eyes out for Lana, who faked her own death to get back at Lex. Meanwhile when Chloe's death got faked to save her from Lionel, Lana was living it up in Paris and dating Dean Winchester.
Martian Manhunter talking about the Bizarro, how he was rejected all his life and that's why he's the way he is...shout-out to Lex apologists? I thought it pretty obviously could be referring to Lex as easily as to the Bizarro. Interesting that it seemed perhaps to inspire some sympathy in Clark...I'd hope that this is a sign for things to come, but I know better than to hope. Smallville has beaten that out of me!
And last thought - what happened to the little kid (boy? girl? I couldn't tell) Lois was running around with in the collapsed tunnels? He/she is presumably the experiment number whatever Lex was so concerned about, but where are they now? Not that I actually care about anything that happens in the show these days, but...I don't want to go back and check, did it say if the kid was taken to the hospital, or did they run away, or what?
Oh, Smallville. Why can't I quit you?
Okay, so it was better than most of last season. Unfortunately that's not saying much. If you liked the ep, don't read this. Unless you want to point & laugh at the crazy fangirls, of course! In that case, go right ahead.
We liked some bits. (The Clexy ones, specifically. And Bizarro, who was hot and shirtless. Mmm. Was that really Tom Welling's voice, or was it electronically manipulated in some way? Good show, TW.)
Most of the other bits? Not so much.
Biggest sticking point for me: Lex Luthor doesn't want revenge.
Let me repeat for posterity's sake. Lex Luthor doesn't want revenge. For his "beloved" wife who was, apparently, brutally murdered - and he doesn't care who did it. Yes, I know, saved by an angel (exhibiting powers he's observed in known aliens for several years now, but he doesn't make this logical leap - oxygen deprivation, bad writing, or a bone thrown to all of us who have believed that he saw Clark as an angel from the first moment he opened his eyes on the riverbank?), seeing world in whole new light, etc. But to not care?
The only way I can make sense of this is that Lex actually knows what Lana did, and turning himself in is in fact restitution for what he did to her before, i.e. the fake pregnancy. He's not confessing this to spare her reputation and give Lana her freedom. Or something.
(There's also the Lex-nalysis spin, that Lex is talking the fall to be punished for 33.1 et al, that after his Supergirl salvation he no longer can live with what he's done, but cannot confess those crimes because he still believes they're necessary for the sake of the planet.)
(The third thought is that he's got some mastermind plan in motion, in which his imprisonment is a key factor, perhaps to provide an alibi when the major shit goes down--oops, sorry. I was channeling JLU!Lex for a second there.)
Speaking of jail-time: Smallville Police: most incompetent ever, or just Kryptonian-blinded? So they arrest Lex Luthor on the extremely circumstantial evidence of a single recording of a private conversation in which he was arguing with his wife and strong words were spoken (although he never threatened her life outright.) It'd be hard to argue a car bomb is a crime of passion, so how exactly are the prosecutors planning on spinning this? Lex Luthor, billionaire, decides he wants the nice public murder of his wife on his record?
Meanwhile, it never occurs to the cops to talk to the infamous jealous ex-boyfriend who not only was in the papers as the third point of their love triangle, but several months before abducted the murder victim. In front of oodles of witnesses.
Presumably Lana set up Lex in some other way (assuming she's how the police get hold of that office recording) - made sure to call a couple dynamite companies from his office? Planted Vehicular Explosions for Dummies in his briefcase? - but to explain this I would have to think about how Lana smoothly and competently arranged all of this, pulling the wool over two pairs of Luthor eyes, and then I would start frothing at the mouth. I'm going to just assume that Lionel switched sides for the billionth time and helped her out, because otherwise, the frothing.
...Lex's office. That reminds me. How the hell did Lois get in there? I know Lex's security sucks, but seriously, people. Is the Luthor mansion on permanent open house? Is Lex so strapped for cash that he sells tickets?
And about Lois. Or about Clark.
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Clark Is Dumb, part 2 - Lana "dies" and he has the amazing revelation that humans are fragile. What about when his dad died? I felt for Jonathan there. Sorry, man, you're nothing compared to the all-consuming love-power of Lana Lang.
I also feel sorry for Chloe. She's crying her eyes out for Lana, who faked her own death to get back at Lex. Meanwhile when Chloe's death got faked to save her from Lionel, Lana was living it up in Paris and dating Dean Winchester.
Martian Manhunter talking about the Bizarro, how he was rejected all his life and that's why he's the way he is...shout-out to Lex apologists? I thought it pretty obviously could be referring to Lex as easily as to the Bizarro. Interesting that it seemed perhaps to inspire some sympathy in Clark...I'd hope that this is a sign for things to come, but I know better than to hope. Smallville has beaten that out of me!
And last thought - what happened to the little kid (boy? girl? I couldn't tell) Lois was running around with in the collapsed tunnels? He/she is presumably the experiment number whatever Lex was so concerned about, but where are they now? Not that I actually care about anything that happens in the show these days, but...I don't want to go back and check, did it say if the kid was taken to the hospital, or did they run away, or what?
Oh, Smallville. Why can't I quit you?