Ahhh, I really love this whole post. It resonates with me a lot -- and also as someone who in the distant past got dumped on hard in a major fandom wank, because even though it was kind of a ridiculous shipping war situation, it burned me on that fandom forever. I miss it. I'll never "go back" to it. These things are definitely A LOT about emotions.
So I like the way you frame this not solely as "be kind" etc. etc. but "be careful about your negativity." That is a very simple thing but powerful too.
I'm trying to be aware of that one both sides of the coin. In NiF there is one character I truly dislike and cannot be convinced is likable or redeemable, but that character is beloved by many, and I've had to just step away and remind myself that justifying my feels is not worth harshing other people's squee. This isn't complicated math, it is easy to just not discuss that character. It's...pretty sad how long it has taken me to learn that lesson, aaaack.
I too have hurt friends and possibly made people shy of writing/drawing/discussing what they love and honestly that breaks my heart. I just hope I'm doing better at not doing that these days.
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winterfish
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Date: 2019-11-18 01:23 am (UTC)So I like the way you frame this not solely as "be kind" etc. etc. but "be careful about your negativity." That is a very simple thing but powerful too.
I'm trying to be aware of that one both sides of the coin. In NiF there is one character I truly dislike and cannot be convinced is likable or redeemable, but that character is beloved by many, and I've had to just step away and remind myself that justifying my feels is not worth harshing other people's squee. This isn't complicated math, it is easy to just not discuss that character. It's...pretty sad how long it has taken me to learn that lesson, aaaack.
I too have hurt friends and possibly made people shy of writing/drawing/discussing what they love and honestly that breaks my heart. I just hope I'm doing better at not doing that these days.