woe is me

[xparrot]

I am just not cut out to be a slash writer. I can't write smut! I want to write smut. But the chars, they want to talk. For 8 pages! The hell, Lex? You want Clark. He wants you. What is the problem here? Just get down on your knees, boy. Geeze. It's not that difficult.

For some reason I can only write smut very late at night. Four in the morning when I'm supposed to be asleep, then I'll have all manner of sexy bodies in my head, writhing together under the sheets/against the wall/over the desk/in the mud/what-have-you. The rest of the time, might as well be a lost cause. Talking, though. I can write endless discussion anytime. I ought to stick to gen. But I like slash, too, darn it! If only it weren't haaaard...(and not in the good way.)

I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I am quite possibly the worst slash fan ever, in that half the time I don't even read the smut; I skim the sex to get to the juicy bits, which for me is the...talking. And angst. And cuteness. And basically all the relationshipping that happens in between. This is probably why I can be both a slash and a gen fan without much mental dissonance. Though it doesn't explain why I have pairings like Clark/Lex which I simply cannot see as gen (even when I don't always read and can't hardly write the slashy bits.)

Comments

[naye]

Huh! I find I tend to slip into reading slash and smut late at night - late enough that my brain's kind of shut down, and epic plot or deep character insights wouldn't make sense, but sex still does. Late nights are weird.

You're not the worst slash fan ever, though, because of how well you write it. I don't care what you read - what you write is hot.

[hils.livejournal.com]

I am exactly the same! Both in my reading and writing habits. To me it's all about the relationship and less about the smut. LOL. I'll read it occasionally if it's especially well written or I'm in the right mood but mostly I just skim.

Out of all my SV fics only one of them has been smutty and even then it was kind of fun, silly smut. I just can't do it most of the time

[danceswithgary]

The best CLex slash writing has them talking, communicating, trading barbs, yelling, screaming, whispering sweet threats for eons before they get down and dirty. Hell, I'll happily embrace a cutaway to a shared cigarette as long as I get some decent talking heads and relationship action. I have heard it said the best sex is when you get into someone's head. (And why did I just flash on Hannibal Lector - ew! Bad Val - no cookie.)

I know what you mean on the omigawd they're in the freaking shower together and now what am I going to write panics that result in having the entire story written EXCEPT for the sex scenes. In the middle of one of those right now and those boys deserve that sex and...oy.

[dhrachth.livejournal.com]

Nothing in particular against smut, but I prefer the talky bits too. To me, the thing about smut is that it's too repetitive. There's only so many things you can do with a penis and when people try to get creative it usually turns out more squicky than sexy. It's important that the characters get to the fun bits before too long, rather than just dithering and angsting all over the place because sexual frustration isn't pretty, but I've never been too concerned about the details. Vague allusions to smut rather than smut itself is often my preference in slash fic.

[theclexfactor.livejournal.com]

Oh, but see you're not alone. Everyone in my stories has blueballs because I'll get them almost there and then stop them because, no, they can't have sex yet. It's too SOON! I don't think Lex appreciates it. He's been walking funny. Yeah, I like to read the narration and dialogue as well as write it, so we're in the same boat. And depending on where the sex is placed in the story (the middle or the end) I may skip it as well to get back to the "plot" so-to-speak.

But then again, I'm a foreplay kind of girl, all of the build up is hotter to me than the act itself.

[acampbell.livejournal.com]

I like smut, but not without the characterization that comes with conversation. :)

[airairo.livejournal.com]

Haha! I was beginning to wonder if I was getting old because 99% of the time when I see a fic labeled as PWP I just keep on scrolling XD I wasn't always like that.. it's a recent thing. It's much more interesting to read about the how and the why than the actual act itself, so I'm mostly cool with "fade to black" type things. (Though, the problem for me is usually that the description of sex ends up being so boring and repetitive. Some authors write amazing smut - the kind that really resonates with the characters and has an element to it that is important to the plot of the fic. But, if that isn't the case it can end up being uncomfortable, like when a sex scene in a movie goes on a little too long.)

Also, UST is always going to be a million times hotter than actual porn anyway.

[utopiantrunks.livejournal.com]

Good build-up makes the smut better, anyhow. Good smut is devilishly hard to write, though. I love reading it, and I still always found that the most difficult part to write. Much easier to read. :P

[(Anonymous)]

Conversation is good and there is no hard and fast rule that slash has to be explicit. Some of my favorite slash stories have very little to no sex.

[yma2.livejournal.com]

I understand your pain. I kinda get all... myeh, about the sex bits. On the one had I kinda like them, on the other I feel very nervous about writing them. Being both female and pretty much streight I find it hard to gather the courage to just... you know... go for it.
At any rate, I dont' think it effects your writing badly. Sure, I'd love to see a bit of smut as much as the next girl, but on the whole I enjoy good characterisation, fun dialoge and cool plot much more.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

I don't really read it late, but it's the only time I really fantasize it. Not sure why, but pretty much all the sex I have written (like the SSBB stories) I, um, plotted while drifting off to sleep. If it counts as 'plotting' to think 'okay, here Quest gives Cale a blow job and then shoves him against the wall.' Which is much more difficult for me to plot out than an actual story. What does that say about me? ^^

and thank you, I'm glad at least someone finds them hot <3

[lukita.livejournal.com]

Hello brain twin. =)

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

I read it sometimes - if it's very well-written and character-appropriate, or on occasion in a long story when I've been waiting forever for it! Or if it's a very thought- or dialogue-intensive scene. But yeah, usually I don't pay as much attention to it as I do to the other parts.

I really appreciate silly smut because I enjoy it, but cannot write it at all - humor's hard enough for me, even without sex complicating it! ^_^

[hils.livejournal.com]

I guess it's all relative then. I find writing humour quite easy but I would kill (ok, slight exaggeration) to be able to write the character-driven stuff that you produce :)

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Hee! Talking heads, that I can do. But yes! Sometimes it feels like a story just needs the sex, like it's cheating not just the readers but the chars to cut away just when they're getting down and dirty. You put the boys through hell, they need some kind of reward. ...Besides, Lex is something of an exhibitionist, he wants details, and wants 'em shared XD But it's hard!
Good luck with yours! *pokes at my own story with a stick*

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's one of my big problems with the smut. Tab A into Slot B (or C or D or G, etc...) - there are only so many variations! Except that there are only so many ways to write, say, hypothermia h/c, and I never get tired of that, so I imagine a lot of it is personal taste. But I tend to prefer allusions to graphic...even though I feel like I'm cheating people somehow if I write it that way. Heh!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

See, I don't think it's too soon for the sex! I'm of the opinion it should be happening by now! It's Lex who still has things to say before they starting getting down (and the trouble is with Clex is that once they start, they tend to move fast, so you really gotta get the talking out of the way first, or it has to wait 'til after...)

Heh, I find foreplay hotter than the actual act myself, but I find it as difficult to write, pretty much...

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Hee, yeah, I actually think relatively few slash fen like the smut over the characterization. Even most PWPs tend to have quite a lot more characterization than your average porno. But people like their smut too, so I always feel like I'm cheating people when I sacrifice all of it for the sake of the talkytalky...

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

I read PWPs for the story. ...Um, no, really. ^^; I will happily read the beginnings and ends of PWPs for the humor/angst and skip all the smexing in the middle. Like I said, worst slash fangirl ever!

And yeah, there's a few authors I enjoy reading their smut, because it is char intensive. A well-done sex scene can say as much as a conversation (or more, with some chars...!)

UST, ah, UST I like so far, and then I start screaming OKAY, HERE'S THE SACK, JUST GET INTO IT ALREADY! XD

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Hee, it's relieving to know even the experts can struggle with it! ^_^ (at least it is easy for me to read now. When I first started on the slash I skimmed because I was too embarrassed to actually read it! ^^;;;)

[gnine.livejournal.com]

...You are adorable ^_^

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Yup, my favorite slash pretty much has no bearing on the sex in it. Some of my favorite stories are totally explicit, others are G-rated. Though I don't think there's any stories I like just for the sex, which is saying something about my tastes right there...

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty much over my embarrassment writing them (though it took me a while to actually type 'cock' into a story ^^;) but I have trouble with the actual mechanics - I will actually sit there going, 'okay, he's on his backside on the bed, he's holding his wrists...what does he do now?' It's not even finding the words, I can't do the blocking! Maybe I should watch more porn (but porn is booooring! :P)

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

It is very relieving to know I'm not alone in my weirdness! XD

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Hee! Inspiration for humor comes to me once in a blue moon, but angst I can churn out pretty much anytime. I wish I could do more crack! ^_^