But people should state those 'boundaries' upfront. Anyone who just dumps someone that they 'friended' simply because they don't agree with everything they like or dislike doesn't deserve respect, in my opinion.
Agreed! --Though this gets into the confusing territory of internet "friends". Some people keep their "friends' list" very small and controlled, and defriending isn't meant as a snub, just that you don't feel like reading someone anymore. Of the people on my "friends' list" I don't consider all of them actual "friends" (though many are!), and I don't assume that anyone who has me friended considers me a personal friend, as opposed to just someone who writes fic they like. If I criticized someone's favorite show and then they removed me from their friends' list, I wouldn't take offense at it (...actually I wouldn't even notice, I don't have friends notifications turned on) - I'd just assume they didn't feel like reading my lj anymore. I've stopped reading people on my own friends' list because their fanning wasn't compatible with my own, and their posts were (entirely unintentionally!) upsetting me, but I didn't want to argue with them about it, or ask them to stop doing something they enjoyed. (I do this even more on Tumblr, where directly engaging people is hard, and it's much easier on my sanity to simply let things go...)
OTOH, if someone's an actual friend, and they cut you off without talking to you about why, that's different. And yeah, someone who doesn't talk to their personal friends when they're upset but just walks away is frankly not worth the trouble of being friends with, in my experience...
Edited again to add that I think my expressed opinions tend to be rather more critical and grumpy than most other fans because I'm old and crotchety. I used to wonder why old people were so grumpy. Now I know why. :-)
Heh, this - I have become so much more picky as I've gotten older. Mostly because I've seen so many things before, it takes a lot more to interest rather than bore me with predictability, or irritate me with old issues...!
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winterfish
no subject
Date: 2013-05-28 10:07 pm (UTC)Agreed! --Though this gets into the confusing territory of internet "friends". Some people keep their "friends' list" very small and controlled, and defriending isn't meant as a snub, just that you don't feel like reading someone anymore. Of the people on my "friends' list" I don't consider all of them actual "friends" (though many are!), and I don't assume that anyone who has me friended considers me a personal friend, as opposed to just someone who writes fic they like. If I criticized someone's favorite show and then they removed me from their friends' list, I wouldn't take offense at it (...actually I wouldn't even notice, I don't have friends notifications turned on) - I'd just assume they didn't feel like reading my lj anymore. I've stopped reading people on my own friends' list because their fanning wasn't compatible with my own, and their posts were (entirely unintentionally!) upsetting me, but I didn't want to argue with them about it, or ask them to stop doing something they enjoyed. (I do this even more on Tumblr, where directly engaging people is hard, and it's much easier on my sanity to simply let things go...)
OTOH, if someone's an actual friend, and they cut you off without talking to you about why, that's different. And yeah, someone who doesn't talk to their personal friends when they're upset but just walks away is frankly not worth the trouble of being friends with, in my experience...
Edited again to add that I think my expressed opinions tend to be rather more critical and grumpy than most other fans because I'm old and crotchety. I used to wonder why old people were so grumpy. Now I know why. :-)
Heh, this - I have become so much more picky as I've gotten older. Mostly because I've seen so many things before, it takes a lot more to interest rather than bore me with predictability, or irritate me with old issues...!