on being in and out of step with fandom
Apr. 9th, 2016 04:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xparrotTrying to join up with mainstream Supernatural fandom is weird for me. Usually at this point in fanning I'd be devouring fic, and/or writing my own. And it's not like there isn't a ton of SPN fic out there - it's the largest single fandom on AO3. But finding what I want to read is difficult...not least of which because I'm not quite sure what I want to read. For all its flaws, SPN is almost a Type A fandom for me in that it gives me pretty much everything I want to see. (Along with plenty I'd rather not see at all, however...)
The other problem with the fic is that I'm out of step with a large part of the fandom - and particularly with the Dean-fan side of the fandom. I adore Sam, I really do (especially the character he's become - he's developed quite a lot over the seasons, more than Dean, in compelling ways. And Jared Padalecki is made of adorable and has gotten a lot better as an actor.) But while Gnine is a Sam-fan, Dean was always my favorite and apparently always will be. Even if I spend large chunks of the show wanting him smacked...that's part of his charm. I do love the assholes. And that always puts me in an odd place in a character-fandom, as I'm often inclined to side against my favorite - I'll take Sam's side over Dean, or Thor's side over Loki. This doesn't seem like a contradiction to me, because it's still all about my favorite, just from another angle...
But more than that, I don't fit with the Dean-fan side because I'm not, as it turns out, a Destiel shipper. Which is weird because I love Castiel, he's why I originally kept watching the show as long as I did, and rewatching it now, when it comes down to it he might be my favorite character. And I love his relationship with the Winchesters, and the special connection he has with Dean - I love every moment that the Destiel shippers love. When we started rewatching I thought I could get into it. Except that in the context of the whole series, those moments largely don't play as shippy to me, and less so as the show goes on. In the earlier seasons there was an arguably erotic edge to the obsessive depth of their relationship, and I think an argument could be made for queerbaiting (whether accidental or deliberate.) But ever since Dean declared Cas to be family, it changed the nature of their connection.
With most characters, a relationship this intense, that the characters are this committed to, would be easy to read as romantic, however they were labeling it. But Dean Winchester being obsessively, unheathily, absolutely devoted to his family is his core character trait. And I've never seen that devotion as romantic/erotic; I've never been into the Wincest. (Among other things, the Winchesters' sibling relationship has enough in common with how I am with my own sibs that any suggestion of incest makes me uncomfortable). So the way he is with Cas now, wanting to save him against all odds or reason, seems less like Dean's in love and more like Dean loving his family the only way he knows how.
Castiel's side is less clear-cut - Cas being in love with Dean is pretty easy to take as canon, though what being in love means to an angel is uncertain. Even putting aside the physical desires of their vessels, it seems like angels themselves aren't actually asexual (since Naomi/Crowley was a thing). It does irritate me that the writers pushed Cas towards heterosexuality when they could've as easily shown him as attracted to anyone (especially given how unfazed angels are by changing the gender of their vessels; they could've explored this more with Hannah's second vessel especially.) But I mostly wish he'd been left asexual. And I also don't want Cas & Dean's relationship to take that much precedence over Cas & Sam's relationship, which has had some really sweet stuff in the last few seasons.
Of course I don't mind that Dean/Castiel is a thing - more power to the shippers, set your slash-goggles to highest res! But I don't think that's where the show is going or even pretending to go, and I don't really want it to; I'm happy with them being best friends/found family. And I'm not interested in pairing fic, which limits my fic options.
So, any recs for gen SPN fic?
The other problem with the fic is that I'm out of step with a large part of the fandom - and particularly with the Dean-fan side of the fandom. I adore Sam, I really do (especially the character he's become - he's developed quite a lot over the seasons, more than Dean, in compelling ways. And Jared Padalecki is made of adorable and has gotten a lot better as an actor.) But while Gnine is a Sam-fan, Dean was always my favorite and apparently always will be. Even if I spend large chunks of the show wanting him smacked...that's part of his charm. I do love the assholes. And that always puts me in an odd place in a character-fandom, as I'm often inclined to side against my favorite - I'll take Sam's side over Dean, or Thor's side over Loki. This doesn't seem like a contradiction to me, because it's still all about my favorite, just from another angle...
But more than that, I don't fit with the Dean-fan side because I'm not, as it turns out, a Destiel shipper. Which is weird because I love Castiel, he's why I originally kept watching the show as long as I did, and rewatching it now, when it comes down to it he might be my favorite character. And I love his relationship with the Winchesters, and the special connection he has with Dean - I love every moment that the Destiel shippers love. When we started rewatching I thought I could get into it. Except that in the context of the whole series, those moments largely don't play as shippy to me, and less so as the show goes on. In the earlier seasons there was an arguably erotic edge to the obsessive depth of their relationship, and I think an argument could be made for queerbaiting (whether accidental or deliberate.) But ever since Dean declared Cas to be family, it changed the nature of their connection.
With most characters, a relationship this intense, that the characters are this committed to, would be easy to read as romantic, however they were labeling it. But Dean Winchester being obsessively, unheathily, absolutely devoted to his family is his core character trait. And I've never seen that devotion as romantic/erotic; I've never been into the Wincest. (Among other things, the Winchesters' sibling relationship has enough in common with how I am with my own sibs that any suggestion of incest makes me uncomfortable). So the way he is with Cas now, wanting to save him against all odds or reason, seems less like Dean's in love and more like Dean loving his family the only way he knows how.
Castiel's side is less clear-cut - Cas being in love with Dean is pretty easy to take as canon, though what being in love means to an angel is uncertain. Even putting aside the physical desires of their vessels, it seems like angels themselves aren't actually asexual (since Naomi/Crowley was a thing). It does irritate me that the writers pushed Cas towards heterosexuality when they could've as easily shown him as attracted to anyone (especially given how unfazed angels are by changing the gender of their vessels; they could've explored this more with Hannah's second vessel especially.) But I mostly wish he'd been left asexual. And I also don't want Cas & Dean's relationship to take that much precedence over Cas & Sam's relationship, which has had some really sweet stuff in the last few seasons.
Of course I don't mind that Dean/Castiel is a thing - more power to the shippers, set your slash-goggles to highest res! But I don't think that's where the show is going or even pretending to go, and I don't really want it to; I'm happy with them being best friends/found family. And I'm not interested in pairing fic, which limits my fic options.
So, any recs for gen SPN fic?
