Star Wars 3
May. 21st, 2005 02:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xparrotJust got back from Star Wars and the post-movie discussion. Final verdict: uh, yeah. Better than the ones before doesn't mean good. What's so terribly frustrating is that at its core there is a good movie, maybe even a great one, buried under the agonizing acting and overdone special f/x (am I the only one who thought Yoda was more convincingly alive as a Muppet, for all his ping-pong-ball-of-doom CGI stunts?) and wretched script. A movie I'd want to see, enjoy watching, maybe even love as I do the originals.
Instead, I can only bitch. There's editors in Hollywood. If only Lucas had listened to somebody telling him what fails, and how it might be saved. Here's five fixes I'd love to see, most of which boil down to two principles: that old bastion of good fiction, "show, don't tell"; and the basic tenet Jedi Masters Are Not All Morons.
1. Padme & Annie (the sun'll come out, tomorrow...) The lack of chemistry in their relationship isn't entirely the fault of Portman and Christensen's "acting". Other than the characters telling each other ad nauseum that they're in love, we have no proof, no reason to believe in their relationship; from what we see of it, it causes them nothing but dissension, disappointment, and death. If we could have had a couple lighter moments with them--and I'm not talking about playing with hideous pig-ticks. We're told that their relationship is secret, so secret that even Obi-wan doesn't realize whose child it is at first. If only we could have seen that, seen them together with others around, subtly sharing their love, a private confidence only they and we are privy to, giving their affair that hint of magic all secrets have.
2. Slow things down. They had eight or nine months to cover in the movie, unless women in the Star Wars universe have substantially shorter gestation periods. Why, then, did the movie rush so much that one had the impression everything, including Padme's pregnancy, happened in a matter of days? For instance, Anakin's apprenticeship under Palpatine could have been a more gradual process. He needn't have hurtled headlong into the dark side; he could have been drawn into it more slowly. Going from killing a Sith Lord to killing a Jedi Knight and a flock of little Jedilets would have been more believable if there had been a few more morally questionably bodies along the way. The drama isn't whether he'll turn to the Dark Side; we all know that's a done deal. The real tension is in when and how, and that could have been drawn out much more. Plus the guy playing Palpatine, at least before he went all latex, was doing the best work in the movie; you could actually believe that the Senate would place so much trust in him, while at the same time we could see how twisted he truly was.
3. Silence. Sometimes a picture can say a thousand words. Especially when it's a moving picture. Most especially when the words include, "I'm beautiful because I'm so in love", "You're breaking my heart", or James Earl Jones's final, hysterical, "NOOOOOOO!!11!!"
4. Three words, Annie: Anger Management Classes. This is one of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gnine's biggest gripes with the movies, and she pointed out how it could have been so much more interesting. As it plays, the Jedi come across as nitwits, not realizing that their star pupil is going Dark Side. Jedi are supposed to be calm, in control; rage is a dark side trait. Anakin is angry all the damn time. He may be strong in the force but despite being trained from childhood, he's the worst Jedi ever. You'd think someone would have noticed. They see through Palpatine, after all, and he was putting on a much better show.
What if Anakin had instead lived up to his reputation, and actually seemed to be a model Jedi, while letting his real feelings only rarely show? In the beginning, when he's insulted not to be made Master when allowed on the council--what if he'd bowed and peacefully submitted, and later, alone, showed his true rage, smashed something up, did real but concealed damage. If we the audience were seeing more than the Jedi council, then their obliviousness would be understandable, and we'd be on the edges of our seats urging for them to figure it out, rather than just pointing and laughing. As it is, we get almost no time alone with any of the characters; they're always together, always talking, and their more private selves might as well not exist at all.
5. The final fight. I'd be up all night if I said all I could about this one. The final double duels, Anakin vs Obi-wan juxtaposed with the Emperor vs Yoda, were some of the best stuff of the movie, with the excitement and coolness that most of the other fights lacked. But the conclusion hurt me, and not in the way it should have, and the beginning could have been so much more. The initial confrontation with Padme and Anakin and Obi-wan, was such an incredibly emotionally charged set-up that it could have been fantastic, with a better writer...not even a good writer, geeze, I could have done it. Just someone not-Lucas.
And the end. Sure, Obi-wan can say Anakin's like a brother, but then couldn't he have at least tried to show a little genuine feeling for him? Like maybe make one attempt to talk him out of it, or perhaps a moment of worry when he was going over the edge of the lavafall, or at very least some speck of Jedi compassion to put a man dying in agony out of his misery, instead of walking away? And speaking of that--okay, so you have Obi-wan Kenobi, who, while a Jedi Master, never gives any indication of being a particularly gifted Jedi. And you have Anakin Skywalker, who is supposed to be the strongest Force-user going in terms of raw power, plus he's good enough to have saved Obi-wan's life nine times, plus he's just gone darkside and is fighting like a demon. So how the hell does Obi-wan manage to chop off his legs and arm?? Because he does a circus flip, rather than call the whole damn volcano down on Obi-wan's head. Some Sith Lord. Anakin, you suck.
What we wanted to see, were almost expecting, was that Anakin would bring Obi-wan down, maybe even get his former master trapped under his own lightsaber in a mirror of his murder of Dooku in the opening, but hesitate at that moment--maybe to gloat, maybe because this is his friend and he can't quite do it after all--a hesitation long enough for Obi-wan to strike out and knock him into the lava. And then with the burning and the screaming and the loss of limbs.
Ah well. What's done is done. As it stands, I'm leaving the new trilogy out of my personal Star Wars canon (it never matched with the original properly anyway). Maybe in a few decades, with Lucas gone, someone might try again, you never know. Meanwhile...there's always Han Solo to console me.
Instead, I can only bitch. There's editors in Hollywood. If only Lucas had listened to somebody telling him what fails, and how it might be saved. Here's five fixes I'd love to see, most of which boil down to two principles: that old bastion of good fiction, "show, don't tell"; and the basic tenet Jedi Masters Are Not All Morons.
1. Padme & Annie (the sun'll come out, tomorrow...) The lack of chemistry in their relationship isn't entirely the fault of Portman and Christensen's "acting". Other than the characters telling each other ad nauseum that they're in love, we have no proof, no reason to believe in their relationship; from what we see of it, it causes them nothing but dissension, disappointment, and death. If we could have had a couple lighter moments with them--and I'm not talking about playing with hideous pig-ticks. We're told that their relationship is secret, so secret that even Obi-wan doesn't realize whose child it is at first. If only we could have seen that, seen them together with others around, subtly sharing their love, a private confidence only they and we are privy to, giving their affair that hint of magic all secrets have.
2. Slow things down. They had eight or nine months to cover in the movie, unless women in the Star Wars universe have substantially shorter gestation periods. Why, then, did the movie rush so much that one had the impression everything, including Padme's pregnancy, happened in a matter of days? For instance, Anakin's apprenticeship under Palpatine could have been a more gradual process. He needn't have hurtled headlong into the dark side; he could have been drawn into it more slowly. Going from killing a Sith Lord to killing a Jedi Knight and a flock of little Jedilets would have been more believable if there had been a few more morally questionably bodies along the way. The drama isn't whether he'll turn to the Dark Side; we all know that's a done deal. The real tension is in when and how, and that could have been drawn out much more. Plus the guy playing Palpatine, at least before he went all latex, was doing the best work in the movie; you could actually believe that the Senate would place so much trust in him, while at the same time we could see how twisted he truly was.
3. Silence. Sometimes a picture can say a thousand words. Especially when it's a moving picture. Most especially when the words include, "I'm beautiful because I'm so in love", "You're breaking my heart", or James Earl Jones's final, hysterical, "NOOOOOOO!!11!!"
4. Three words, Annie: Anger Management Classes. This is one of
gnine's biggest gripes with the movies, and she pointed out how it could have been so much more interesting. As it plays, the Jedi come across as nitwits, not realizing that their star pupil is going Dark Side. Jedi are supposed to be calm, in control; rage is a dark side trait. Anakin is angry all the damn time. He may be strong in the force but despite being trained from childhood, he's the worst Jedi ever. You'd think someone would have noticed. They see through Palpatine, after all, and he was putting on a much better show.What if Anakin had instead lived up to his reputation, and actually seemed to be a model Jedi, while letting his real feelings only rarely show? In the beginning, when he's insulted not to be made Master when allowed on the council--what if he'd bowed and peacefully submitted, and later, alone, showed his true rage, smashed something up, did real but concealed damage. If we the audience were seeing more than the Jedi council, then their obliviousness would be understandable, and we'd be on the edges of our seats urging for them to figure it out, rather than just pointing and laughing. As it is, we get almost no time alone with any of the characters; they're always together, always talking, and their more private selves might as well not exist at all.
5. The final fight. I'd be up all night if I said all I could about this one. The final double duels, Anakin vs Obi-wan juxtaposed with the Emperor vs Yoda, were some of the best stuff of the movie, with the excitement and coolness that most of the other fights lacked. But the conclusion hurt me, and not in the way it should have, and the beginning could have been so much more. The initial confrontation with Padme and Anakin and Obi-wan, was such an incredibly emotionally charged set-up that it could have been fantastic, with a better writer...not even a good writer, geeze, I could have done it. Just someone not-Lucas.
And the end. Sure, Obi-wan can say Anakin's like a brother, but then couldn't he have at least tried to show a little genuine feeling for him? Like maybe make one attempt to talk him out of it, or perhaps a moment of worry when he was going over the edge of the lavafall, or at very least some speck of Jedi compassion to put a man dying in agony out of his misery, instead of walking away? And speaking of that--okay, so you have Obi-wan Kenobi, who, while a Jedi Master, never gives any indication of being a particularly gifted Jedi. And you have Anakin Skywalker, who is supposed to be the strongest Force-user going in terms of raw power, plus he's good enough to have saved Obi-wan's life nine times, plus he's just gone darkside and is fighting like a demon. So how the hell does Obi-wan manage to chop off his legs and arm?? Because he does a circus flip, rather than call the whole damn volcano down on Obi-wan's head. Some Sith Lord. Anakin, you suck.
What we wanted to see, were almost expecting, was that Anakin would bring Obi-wan down, maybe even get his former master trapped under his own lightsaber in a mirror of his murder of Dooku in the opening, but hesitate at that moment--maybe to gloat, maybe because this is his friend and he can't quite do it after all--a hesitation long enough for Obi-wan to strike out and knock him into the lava. And then with the burning and the screaming and the loss of limbs.
Ah well. What's done is done. As it stands, I'm leaving the new trilogy out of my personal Star Wars canon (it never matched with the original properly anyway). Maybe in a few decades, with Lucas gone, someone might try again, you never know. Meanwhile...there's always Han Solo to console me.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-05-21 01:33 am (UTC)Ahh, I want to see it, only so I can point and laugh. Maybe I'll even be pleasently surprised, but if I'm not I'm never going to listen to any movie critic ever again.(A bunch of them here have been giving it great reviews. Not fantastic, but 4 out of 5 seems to be the average score. I think they were just relieved it wasn't as bad as the first two...)
Also - pig-ticks? Mwah! Yes, I hated that scene with as much passion as I could muster after sitting through the portion of the movie that came before, but it's even funnier to hate on it now that I've got a fitting name for those horrible critters. ^_^
no subject
Date: 2005-05-21 08:49 am (UTC)The New Yorker review put it best, I think, when they said "better" in the way "dying from natural causes is better than crucifixion". Except in some ways I think this is worse, actually. The first two movies were so universally bad that I could easily laugh and shrug them off. But this one, like I said, at the core there's something good, there's something that truly feels like Star Wars. The other movies didn't at all; this one does, but bad Star Wars...harder to just ignore it, and that makes it hurt more.
J-chan just said it, it's true - when I first heard about these movies being made, I was expecting to cry at the final one. Anakin's fall, the destruction of the Jedi and the end of the Republic, that's supposed to be an immense, incredible tragedy, and I wanted to feel it. (One of the only genuinely good lines in the movie was, oddly, Padme, when Palpatine declared they were now the Empire, and I can't remember the exact quote but it's along the lines of "This is how democracy ends, in applause." Could've been a JMS line, even.)(Also, seriously, the Emperor was the best thing of the movie. He took it and ran with it, all the way down the field. and I didn't realize it was the same actor, but the voice is unmistakable, damn it's creepy!) I didn't want to be laughing at the destruction of the Jedi. I didn't want to be hating Obi-wan, I wanted to be angry with and sorry for both him and Anakin...and I could have been, the basic set-up was there, if they'd just followed through.
I think I'm just never gonna see it again, and rewrite it in my head until it is something good...