completely ridiculous Guardian fic & the drunk-fic trope

[xparrot]

No Sunday Snippet, but a followup to my last Snippet that I was so embarrassed about -- I went ahead and posted it anyway. It is in turn a sequel to a fic I did for my h/c comment-fest:

Out of Focus features Zhao Yunlan dealing with an accidentally hopelessly inebriated Shen Wei, thanks to the world's most contrived plot device.

Focus Pull doubles down on this with a deliberately but (eventually) just as hopelessly drunk Shen Wei, with bonus drunk Zhao Yunlan...for 20K words of lightly humorous fluff, which is the sticking point that had me hiding under my figurative bed. Characters getting trashed is its own genre of fic, but not for this long? Because most stories need, like, an actual plot to reach that wordcount? Or else a lot of porn? ^^;

My filename for this fic was literally "just for me," but both naye and frith_in_thorns told me it was cute enough to be worth reading, and other people asked for more from the first story and snippet, so I went and posted it -- and people have been enjoying it, I'm getting absolutely lovely comments! Which is just making my day, even as I'm slightly flabbergasted that anyone is reading it all the way through? So yeah, I'm definitely not the only one who wants to see Shen Wei just a little tiny infinitesimal bit smashed.

The thing that really has me so needlessly embarrassed about this is that I don't know why I like the drunk-fic trope so much? I mean, I love altered states in h/c; a mind-altering fictional drug was the plot of the first fanfic I ever posted online, and I've been finding ways to get characters out of their heads ever since. But this story isn't even h/c; it is one of the most purely fluffy fics I've ever written (they don't even get hangovers because of actual magic!) And recreational drug-use in fic is a lot more hit or miss for me...but this fic is all my personal hits. While it's not actually h/c it plays on some of the same strings -- vulnerability and caring, intimacy and trust developing through exposure -- and somehow is one of my favorite things? Especially with a character like Shen Wei, who is so painfully self-controlled, emphasis on "painful"...

...The other reason I'm so embarrassed is that I feel vaguely like an imposter -- like writing porn, this is something out of my personal wheelhouse; I don't drink. (I hate the taste of alcohol, possibly related to having some kind of sensitivity to it that means I go directly from "mildly tipsy" to "vomiting for hours" with no fun drunk times in between...) So there's this odd level of...vicarious entertainment? Writing characters drunk to me is more fun (and more possible!) than actually getting drunk (though I did write most of this while sleep-deprived from insomnia, which is...not an unrelated state of mind, perhaps...)

In conclusion...people should write more drunk Shen Wei! (You might think after this I'd have it out of my system. You would be wrong...)

Comments

[naye]

a little tiny infinitesimal bit smashed
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~ THE CUTEST ♥♥♥

In conclusion...people should write more drunk Shen Wei!
SECONDED. (If I ever get the arranged marriage pining thing to happen Drunk Shen Wei will have to be a key feature.)

You might think after this I'd have it out of my system. You would be wrong...
This gives me GREAT JOY because I love how you write it and I am looking forward to more.

[xparrot]

Eeeeeheehee that arranged marriage pining thing~~~ you really should stop reminding me of it...

This gives me GREAT JOY because I love how you write it and I am looking forward to more.

You are a terrible enabler and I love you <3

[frith_in_thorns]

I've been writing LOTS of drugged Shen Wei! :D

... >_>

Anyway this is THE CUTEST FIC and I'm so extremely glad that you posted it and that other people are telling you so as well!

[xparrot]

YOU REALLY HAVE BEEN. And I thank you for it! <333 (and your icon is perfect for this too!)

And heee thank you, you're definitely one of the main reasons I did post :D

[yantantether]

For me, any time that Shen Wei lets himself be a little bit vulnerable and shows his utter trust in Yunlan it hits like a hammer. So I think that's part of why I love your fic so much, because he *chose* to try it again.

Equally, accidentally!drunk Shen Wei is also super cute and fun! I think because he *is* so controlled, the idea of gently stripping some of that away (but making sure Yunlan is there to take care of him while it happens) is incredibly appealing. As is the idea that there's so much stuff he WANTS to do (like blatantly groping Yunlan's butt :D) and he gets to explore and enjoy things that he wouldn't normally allow himself. I don't drink much anymore, but when I did that was definitely part of the appeal - sometimes you just want to feel a bit different to who you normally are.

And, when I wrote drunk!fic, it was just fun to write him being a bit goofy! And to see how Yunlan reacts to it, and to allow for some emotional catharsis that wouldn't have happened right then if he'd stayed totally sober.

[xparrot]

For me, any time that Shen Wei lets himself be a little bit vulnerable and shows his utter trust in Yunlan it hits like a hammer. So I think that's part of why I love your fic so much, because he *chose* to try it again.

Oh man YES this!! I love Zhao Yunlan taking care of him anyway, and Shen Wei learning to accept that -- but Shen Wei actively seeking it, and trying to understand what Zhao Yunlan wants for him...

And yes -- Shen Wei's control is so tight, and it hurts him in a lot of ways; he doesn't easily allow himself to want things. He feels so deeply but so much of that is repressed and turned inward, so for him to be able to let it go, even if it's not something he can quite consciously manage...and especially with Zhao Yunlan, who will never judge him for it, and who loves to see all of Shen Wei...

Plus, yeah, letting him be goofy, when he's always so serious (it's funny but then it's also a little heart-touching to me, because he's got some issues about being something to fear, so for him to be human and silly is something he needs, too...) And like in your fic, just letting himself feel at all...it's a big thing for him!

[clevermanka]

I marked Focus Pull for after I finished Crimson Lotus and now I can't wait to read it. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee because Yes Same! Also, my Canadian Shack (already forming beyond the horizon of Ghost Story) will contain a stoned Shen Wei, so there's something to look forward to. =D

[xparrot]

Heeee I hope you enjoy it! :D

And double eeeee for stoned!Shen Wei, also a delight!

[galaxysoup]

Altered mental states are so much fun to write! And you did a great job of writing realistic drunkenness for the two of them. Of course, I also don't drink, so take that with a grain of salt... :D

[xparrot]

They are so much fun to write and read, I don't even know why, but! And hee, glad it was convincing for you! People who do drink seem to have found it plausible enough, anyway...!

(Someone once shared with me a general survey of asexuals and one unusual point of commonality for many was low alcohol use...possibly just because drinking is so often used to hook up and we're not into that, but maybe something else? I've wondered...! What I don't get is that my disinterest in sex generally carries over to fiction, but with alcohol/drugs it's the opposite, it's one of my major fiction kinks even though I have little interest in it in reality??)

[galaxysoup]

Ohhhhhhhh that's such an interesting intersection! It makes a lot of sense, when I think about it - a lot of the Drinking Scene does tend to be pretty hookup-oriented. I would guess we also tend to have a lower rate of drinking to forget disappointing romantic relationships, too. :D

I think for myself since fic is a pretty low-stakes way to vicariously explore things like drinking or drugs it has a kind of exotic attraction to it. I do also occasionally go through phases where I mainline romancey or steamy stuff, even though I continue to have no real-life interest in it.