Fic: Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

[xparrot]

My first non-darkfic dip into Smallville canon proper rather than futurefic, and my second time with Clark's POV. This is actually a distant prequel to the Subterfuge universe, but stands on its own without any obvious relation in plot or tone to those later fic. It's a 5th season episode tag, taking place an hour or two after the final scene of "Mortal," and might be the first of a sequence of AU ep tags. I quite enjoyed 5th season overall, but in a "what it could have been" way more than a "this is the way it was" way, and AUing it amuses me.

Title from the Scrubs soundtrack, a musical number far too lovely for a silly comedy, which is just one more reason why Scrubs rocks so hard; when I was deciding what to call this story, my playlist shuffled to this song, and I'm not one to look a gift title in the mouth.

Smallville: Waiting for My Real Life to Begin {5,136 words}
PG; pre-slash (hints of Clark/Lex; references to canonical Clark/Lana), ep tag to 5x02, "Mortal"
Clark runs home from the Talon; Lex is waiting for him.

Read it on AO3

Comments

[suzycat.livejournal.com]

Oh, I liked this so much! I kept expecting declarations of love and kisses but you never let it happen, which was a good idea. Delicious!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

So glad you liked it! I kinda realized at the end that I'd managed to write a PWP and totally miss the sex...good to know it worked that way. ^_^

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Hee, aw, yeah, poor Clark...this is what he wants, in some ways, but whether he'd ever actually be happy that way, hard to say...

[ladydey.livejournal.com]

Lovely, see that's the thing Lex knows and the more that Clark tell him that there is nothing to know the angrier and more reckless Lex is going to get. I love the spot that you chose to let Clark be honest with Lex - Clark thinks that he has nothing to left to lose but Lex and is at a point where that actually matters more then Lana!drama.

Nice.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

The thing that gets me about Lex is not only that I'm almost positive he knows most of Clark's secrets by now - he pretty much has to, he's not an idiot. But for the first three years, Lex is almost scrupulously honest with Clark about what he does know. His first thought whenever he learns anything is always to go ask Clark - the big reveal at the end of 3rd season, with his shrine to Clark the room - despite Clark's royal hissy, Clark really should know about nearly everything in there already, if he'd just take a moment to think.

And yeah, there's a couple key points that Clark could've changed the course of everything by coming clean, and this is a good one...

[theclexfactor.livejournal.com]

This was wonderful. Not "purple" at all :P.

No seriously, I was completely surprised that Clark finally told Lex the full truth even if it's not "true" anymore. It makes me hope that you write a continuation for what happens during "Hidden".

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

my current h/c extravaganza may be a little lavender, but I hoped this one wasn't! XD

I'm planning on doing a short follow-up story for "Hidden" and several other eps, that'll be when things start arcing off into AU territory, and not just because the pre-slash will get more slashy... ^^

[theclexfactor.livejournal.com]

Wee!!! Yay!!!

[bagheera-san.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was nice. *happy sigh* The truth-telling and Lex and Clark doing the right thing for once... and how tangible you made Clark's humanity and how clearly it came through how *wrong* it is for Clark to be human (especially in Lex's words when he describes how Clark's normal future will look. Wrong. Just wrong.) Although, for some reason, Arrival-Hidden is one of my all-time favourite stretches of SV, because somehow, I liked human Clark.

I love gen / pre-slash.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

I rather like human!Clark, too, he's sweet and so happy, when his burdens have been lifted. And while some superheroes I get cranky with when they angst about their powers (one reason I love Static Shock is 'cause Virgil has zero angst about being a super-powered freak, he's all, "electric powers, oh yeah BABY!") Clark has been through quite the wringer because of his gifts, I can't blame him for wanting to just be normal. On the other hand, it's gotta be a difficult adjustment, to have to take such effort when the simplest actions used to come so easily before...

Heh, in many fandoms I am primarily a gen fan - SV and the Clex-obsession is more the exception than the rule (I can take pre-slash with them, but not total gen, I have this OTP quirk that I only want to see them happily with each other, in the end!) But unless I make a deliberate effort to get the sex in there, I tend to, uh, forget about it entirely ^^;

[danceswithgary]

He catches Lex there in the doorway, on the threshold, puts his arms around him and pulls Lex to him. Lex is facing away, his rigid back to Clark's chest, his arms stiff and straight at his sides under Clark's bear-hold. This is different than any hug they've shared before, because Clark is holding on, not carefully, not fearful of crushing and splintering brittle human bone; but as tightly as he can. When he embraced Lana tonight he was so cautious not to bruise her, not to hurt her. But he's hurt Lex already, and Lex's jaw bruised his fist, and he doesn't care if it's painful and he doesn't care if Lex struggles against him; he's not going to let go.


That is such an epiphany for Clark I think, that he can put his all into what he wants with Lex, that not only can he let go physically, he can let go mentally. Great story!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

One of the things that most appeals to me about Clark/Lex is that they are such equals; even when they're not physically matched, Lex is smart enough to find ways to level the field. As enemies, they can go all-out with each other because they're both strong enough to take it; as lovers, Clark has to control himself, but Lex is the one with the skills to push him beyond that control. But this is a special moment for Clark, that he can relinquish all limits, and just need...

[lukita.livejournal.com]

Cute~ Woo Clark's POV. ♥

Dood, Clark should totally go find out if Lex even have a bedroom at all, since 'Promise' kinda showed him sleeping in Lana's room with a t-shirt on, damnit of all places.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Glad Clark's POV worked! writing on a long one all from him now, so I'm getting a bit more comfortable with it...though I worry I make him too squishy. I like him better when he's being all noble & heroic, rather than mopey asshat :P

I know! damn that t-shirt! My Lex sleeps in the nude :P

[jakrar.livejournal.com]

Wow. Outside your theory of Lex testing Clark because he's preparing for an alien invasion and needs to know for sure which side Clark is on, I tend to doubt Lex actually set up the mutants' escape and hostage-taking in "Mortal," but I'm willing to suspend my disbelief once again for the sake of this story. Beautifully done, and I lovelovelove Clark actually telling Lex the truth. (Finally!) Love your point, too, that Lex usually is honest with Clark about what he knows and/or suspects; I've always thought Clark's reaction to Lex's shrine/room/whatever was ridiculously overwrought, given all the things in there that Lex had every right to be investigating. Great, great story!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Clark definitely overreacts at the end of 3rd season. The whole second half of s3 is Clark's worst time, I feel; later seasons he's somewhat justified for being suspicious of Lex, but not then. I really only can attribute it to post-Asylum guilt (and live in hope that one day Clark will realize this!!)

(Hmmm, out of curiosity, how do you think Lex wasn't the mastermind behind the mutants? I've seen a couple other people mention this, and while I love Lex as much as the next raving fangirl, and the evidence is technically circumstantial - the mutants' handcuffs mysteriously happen to turn off right when Lex walks by, and only a little while after they were transferred back to Belle Reve from 33.1? And Lex had the place wired with cameras, and is looking shocked/horrified at the footage of Clark like it's totally different from what he was expecting...if anything I get cranky because Lex is too obviously behind the mutant attack, and not devious enough! Though I don't think hostage-taking was part of the plan, I think he meant them to target Clark alone; and Clark should have been able to neutralize them without anyone coming to harm. Lex's minions do have a bad tendency to take the initiative in the wrong way...)
(this being said, I do find it very interesting that Lex has not once targeted Clark or the Kents since...)

Er - anyway, I'm very glad you enjoyed the story even if it doesn't quite jive with your own take! ^_^

[jakrar.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, out of curiosity, how do you think Lex wasn't the mastermind behind the mutants?

As far as the one mutant's handcuffs, it looked to me as if he deliberately bumped into Lex in such a way that the cuffs were turned off by the contact, but I don't see any sign that Lex was cooperating or expecting the collision. Yes, the timing seems coincidental, but Lex does have good reason to be there to personally look Lionel over (given that the linguist Lex had hired to check out the caves in season 2 was left in a very similar state, only to come out of it violently and with superpowers) and to personally give the doctor instructions to contact him immediately if there should be any change in his father's condition.

As far as the mutant leader's decision to head for Smallville to coerce help from Clark Kent, his explanation (which, as I remember it, was that there was a lot of talk around Belle Reve about Clark's superhuman abilities) seems borne out by the earlier episode "Asylum," where we saw quite a number of Belle Reve inmates who'd had run-ins with Clark and remembered him well (if not fondly).

The security protecting the kryptonite seemed perfectly logical to me: Lex had every reason to believe that superpowered mutants might try to break in, so he not only had elaborate security systems in place, but also had a second camera system installed to keep an extra eye on that area. That way, if someone did get in past his security, he at least would be able to identify him/her/them. And, naturally, when Lex got back to town and learned that there'd been a breach in the security, he immediately checked the tapes and was surprised to find that Clark and Chloe had broken in, and further surprised to see Clark apparently hurt by the laser system when Lex had long had good reason to believe that Clark was a lot harder to hurt than that. (At which point, Clark barged in with violence and accusations, and Lex tried without success to defuse the situation, and finally acted in self-defense.)

I'm not saying it's impossible Lex was behind everything in "Mortal," but I didn't see enough to convince me he definitely was behind it, and so I tend to presume his innocence -- though, for the sake of your story, and your theory, I'm willing to temporarily concede Lex may have masterminded it all.

PS

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

given all the things in there that Lex had every right to be investigating

AMEN to that. I gotta do a post on this sometime. Clark's secrets do not all belong exclusively to Clark; Lex is deeply involved and has been since he was nine years old, and has every right to investigate the meteor rocks - or, for that matter, the time he could have died. The giant clearly for jerking off photos of Clark are a bit much, but...

Re: PS

[jakrar.livejournal.com]

Lex is deeply involved and has been since he was nine years old, and has every right to investigate the meteor rocks - or, for that matter, the time he could have died.

Not to mention Lex having every right to investigate the unearthly metal octagon he found in the same field where a spaceship may have crashed, and the apparently dangerous and extraterrestrial parasites found in the caves he's been safeguarding, and the seemingly alien writing in those caves, and...actually, aside from the photos of Clark and the Kents, I can't think of anything in that room that Lex didn't have a perfect right to be studying. I just wish someone had pointed that out to Clark! *growls at dense, self-righteous Kryptonian*

Re: PS

[gnine.livejournal.com]

What gets me, even more than Lex having the right to know, is that Clark is already AWARE that Lex has and knows about almost everything in the room. He knows Lex was aware and interested int he parasites, he knows Lex has studied meteor rocks, Lex showed Clark that he had picked up Clark's scribblings of the possible translations to kyrptonian. Hell, he even knows Lex had him and his family investigated way back when.

Also, Lex never promised to stop investigating, Clark didn't even outright ask him to, Lex just SAID he had, and I think at the time, he probably did..and then MORE evidence popped up and he started looking again!

Re: PS

[jakrar.livejournal.com]

Exactly! I agree completely! And I'd love to see Lex properly defend himself on the subject of that room, but of course AlMiles would never allow it to happen on SV. *growls at AlMiles and dense Kryptonian*

Re: PS

[gnine.livejournal.com]

And addendum. I wrote the above right before I ran off to work, and on my walk to the train, I was further contemplating it and was like. Wait, waaait, hold the phone, Clark!

You're accusing him of "investigating" when you are fucking standing, UNINVITED in Lex's personal room, doing, oh, I don't know...some INVESTIGATION!!!! Grr, fucking hypocrite!

Okay...better now...realllly! Don't worry, Clark, despite your asshattery, I still love you (though I do wonder WHY sometimes ^_-)

Re: PS

[jakrar.livejournal.com]

You're accusing him of "investigating" when you are fucking standing, UNINVITED in Lex's personal room, doing, oh, I don't know...some INVESTIGATION!!!!

Exactly! For all Clark's tendency to take on guilt that doesn't belong to him, he really ought to take on more of the guilt that rightfully DOES.

Don't worry, Clark, despite your asshattery, I still love you (though I do wonder WHY sometimes ^_-)

I still love Clark in (most) fanfic, but I'm liking him less and less on the show. I think I need to go back and rewatch some season 1, where -- despite too often criticizing Lex for doing things Lex has a perfect right to do -- Clark is still generally a pretty nice guy. *wistful sigh*

[attaccabottoni.livejournal.com]

I'm in love with the timeliness of this conversation, because it seems like a natural ending to that very momentous fist fight. (My own imagination suggested that they continued exchanging blows until they make more anger-induced revelatory statements, then maybe proceed to cathartic sex. But I concede to this scenario instead. :D)

I most love the idea that if they only cooled off a little, they could still talk about their mutual suspicions with each other like friends do (minus all the undercurrent bitterness). Clark/Lex dialogue is more of my SV drug rather than the pretty eyecandy. If I were to write an SV episode, there would be absolutely no action and it would be full of meaningful dialogue instead. :D

And expositing on Clark feeling a lot more when de-powered was a pretty cool touch, because I didn't expect his temper with Lex in that episode to translate to physical violence that it didn't occur to me that it was because his emotions was running particularly high and it was a different experience as an ordinary human... (the subject of how Clark's unique physiology affects his mental processes always fascinate me, so I kind of geeked out a bit on that while enjoying the drama)

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

My own imagination suggested that they continued exchanging blows until they make more anger-induced revelatory statements, then maybe proceed to cathartic sex.

Oh, that works too *mmm angry!sex!* XDDDD

Clark/Lex dialogue is more of my SV drug

Me too, I loooove long meaningful talks. (...as my fic may make too clear) Have...hopes for the upcoming ep "Nemesis"...

I really think a lot of the reason Clark physically attacks Lex in "Mortal" is because he's human. Either because he's feeling things more strongly, or just because he can - he's never been able to attack someone in anger before, never can let go. And now he can, and it boils over. Maybe there's a bit of logic to it, too, that he wants Lex to strike him and get total proof of Clark's humanity. But a lot of it, for whatever reason, is raw emotion, else he wouldn't go to Lana afterwards, so desperately in need of another outlet...(sublimation, much? in its way Clark's lovemaking with Lana is some of the most homoerotic stuff in the whole show, given the context. Oh, SV. Only you could make het-sex gay! <3)

[attaccabottoni.livejournal.com]

Have...hopes for the upcoming ep "Nemesis"
Erm, would it be spoilery if I asked you what you meant? :D

in its way Clark's lovemaking with Lana is some of the most homoerotic stuff in the whole show, given the context. Oh, SV. Only you could make het-sex gay! <3
*CACKLES MADLY* OMG I totally forgot about that! (I fast-forwarded that part so I didn't get the significance... hee hee!)

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

According to spoilers, "Nemesis" is supposed to be about Lex & Clark trapped together somewhere, talking about where their friendship went sour. Whether this will be only a bit of the ep, or the whole ep, I have no idea, but...I have hopes. And fears, because depending on what they say it could blow lots of my Lex-theories out of the water, not to mention it will likely be the final nail in the coffin of their friendship, but...(I hope in the end Lex walks away from Clark. I even kinda want Clark to make an overture of friendship, and for Lex to shoot him down. Because Lex has a right to...and it might get Clark guilting and mourning what he's lost with Lex, once it's too late to get it back...)

(...well, really I want them to kiss and make up and divorce Lana and marry each other. But since that's never gonna happen in show canon, I'll take Clark guilting...)

[jakrar.livejournal.com]

depending on what they say it could blow lots of my Lex-theories out of the water

Just remember that Lex isn't necessarily being 100% truthful in what he says to Clark, regardless of the circumstances. *leaving mental room for fanwank*

I hope in the end Lex walks away from Clark. I even kinda want Clark to make an overture of friendship, and for Lex to shoot him down. Because Lex has a right to...and it might get Clark guilting and mourning what he's lost with Lex, once it's too late to get it back...

I would love that!

(...well, really I want them to kiss and make up and divorce Lana and marry each other. But since that's never gonna happen in show canon, I'll take Clark guilting...)

I'd love that even more! You have the best ideas! *wishes you were in charge of the show*

[attaccabottoni.livejournal.com]

Eeeee, really?! My brain exploded at the "Lex and Clark trapped together" part. It's like a dream come true scenario for SV fangirls since S1. God, I don't care if they churn out anything that would ruin the opportunity for meaningful dialogue, just get Clark and Lex working together on something in each other's company for a definite period of time, and I will happily throw a party and dedicate a Thanksgiving Mass to the writers. I'm pretty sure there will be wiggle room for fanfic writers to fit Clex in that scenario, because the subtext is canon, damnit.

Yeah, the best I'd hope for is a lengthy snarktastic exchange reminiscent of "Tresspass" and I'll be a happy fangirl. :D

[dogwoodblossom.livejournal.com]

Why yes, you are made of awesome.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Awesome, obsession, it's such a fine line...

[lapetite-kiki.livejournal.com]

I would have love to see this onscreen!

Nicely done!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

I would have love to see this onscreen!

You & me both! ^_^

[herohunter.livejournal.com]

Fantastic, you've captured the essences of Lex and Clark and made this more believable than the show!

Thanks for sharing!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed it. If only the show had gone thusly...!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I will be writing sequel stories, someday...