xparrot | smallville baby blues (Reply)

Everyone's already discussed this to death (or faux-death) but I'm still feeling the need to work it out to my satisfaction. 6th season was a terribly frustrating season, but the ~~Rosemary's~~ Lana's baby plot is arguably the worst of it, for being so darn nonsensical. So I'm outlining all the theories/fanwanked possibilities I've seen on the matter, in an attempt to sort out which are more possible. Draws on things mentioned in

bagheera_san's post here and various other online discussions, and as always, late-night conversations with

gnine, the latest of which meant that I went to work on 3 hours of sleep yesterday, go us!

The Story (as the show has presented it): Lex, growing fearful (?) of Lana leaving him, between "Fallout" and "Rage" secretly started giving Lana hormones to simulate a pregnancy. After the wedding, the hormones were discontinued, resulting in a simulated miscarriage in "Combat." Lana found out about the deception in "Progeny" and revealed she knew about it to Lex in "Phantom."

Refutations:

Lex doesn't always seem aware himself that the baby is fake. Either that or he's become a very accomplished liar. In "Static" when he finds out about the baby he appears genuinely surprised, rather than satisfied his Evol Plan is coming to fruition (or something. His expression is hard to interpret. It could be "Oh my! I'm going to be a daddy!" or "Oh my! I sort of forgot about that, wonder what's going to happen to that little project if I can't get out of here?") In "Combat" he likewise seems concerned to find Lana lying on the floor, and in "Phantom" he seems surprised by Lana's revelation. The last might be acting, but there weren't observers in the first two situations. Perhaps Lex is a method actor?

Why the crib and nursery in "Crimson"? Why did Lex want to make the pregnancy public when he knew it was going to end tragically? Lana wasn't really wavering about the wedding at that point, so the pressure seems unnecessary.

"Crimson" is the first hint that something's not kosher with the baby; Lex pulls Dr. Langston aside to ask "How is she really?" If it's just a faked pregnancy, why would he need to double-check? The doctor answers that it isn't a typical pregnancy, but that "everything's on schedule". What's on schedule? The hormone therapy?

I've heard Lex's nightmare in "Promise" referenced as proof he thinks there really is a baby. I took his dream as being symbolic of his conscience haunting him, his lie becoming a reality and attacking him (by "Promise" I was convinced myself that the baby was faked) but the literal reading is that there's a monster in her.

What was up with the creepy music in the sparkling cider scene in "Combat"? The implication is that there was something in the cider that induced Lana's 'miscarriage', but according to the doctor in "Progeny" just stopping the synthetic hormones would've done the trick. So the cider was only weird coincidence?

How could Lex so competently drug Lana for all those months, pay off her doctor to lie, and show her false sonograms, only to totally screw up afterwards and let her find out in "Progeny"? He had heard from Lana's own lips that she wanted to know what happened. Why not hire a new doctor to tell her a convenient lie? And why, knowing she was in the SV Medical center, did he not make sure she wouldn't have an uncompromised doctor run the tests he knew she wanted? (And why did she still have the synthetic hormones in her system how many weeks later, anyway? How long do those last?)

(The possible answer to this is that Lionel, in his eternal pursuit of new & creative ways to mess with his son's life, arranged for Lana to find out then.)

The biggest question is why Lex did it at all.
- Such a drastic betrayal of a personal relationship seems out of character for Lex compared to previous relationships, especially if, as he tells Lionel, he actually believes Lana loves him.
- Why was Lex so eager to force a twenty-one-year-old small-town girl to marry him? If he had to take such extreme steps to begin with, marriage would be no guarantee he could keep her, especially as if the deception were revealed it would be grounds for divorce, and worse. Not to mention, considering how his last two weddings worked out, one would think the last thing Lex wants himself is to rush into "a loveless marriage." (The Clexer in me naturally wants to interpret all the Lexana as an attempt to get Clark's goat, but canon doesn't support this reading much.)
- Why didn't he actually get Lana pregnant, rather than go through an elaborate ruse that could potentially blow up in his face? Possible reasons:
  
  -- Lex tried and couldn't, either because of Lana's or his own (meteor-infection-related?) infertility.
  
  -- Lex fears becoming a father, either because he doesn't want to become another Lionel, or because (as mentioned, even if the show's forgotten) he is meteor-infected himself, and meteor mutations can be inherited. He doesn't want to father a monster.
  
  -- Lex didn't want to risk Lana's health/life. While faking a pregnancy through hormones can't be totally safe, it's not as dangerous as the various possible complications of a real pregnancy. Not to mention in "Lexmas" he saw Lana die in childbirth and probably isn't anxious to repeat the experience.
  
  (I have to note that upon consideration, actually getting her pregnant without her knowledge and consent (by tampering with the birth control - I presume they were using birth control; if they weren't then damn, girl, no sympathy for you) would have been even more despicable than the faked pregnancy, for the health reasons and because it would have been messing with two lives, child as well as mother. Bringing a new life into the world just to further your own manipulations? Not cool. (SLAD (Standard Lex-Apologist Disclaimer): I'm not saying that faking a pregnancy is anything less than reprehensible; it's just that it would have been even worse if it had been real and deliberate on Lex's part.))

These continuity issues are mostly a result of the show's production. The writers didn't seem to know how they were going to resolve the baby plot until near the season's end, and appear to have picked the fake baby theory by an arbitrary coin-toss. It seems like they didn't even decide Lex was going to be fucking with the pregnancy until "Crimson" - it's incredibly clumsy writing that Lana also starts having doubts about the relationship at the same time, even though she is given no reason in canon for these doubts. It also seems that MR and/or the directors are not terribly enamored of the fake-baby resolution, because MR's performance of Lex acts counter to it a lot.

As far as we can tell, the only reason for the fake-baby plot is because TPTB had to make Lex evil, not only in his business practices, but in his romantic life, because otherwise, the Lexana was a much healthier and functional relationship than the Clana. Lex was better to and for Lana than Clark ever was, and the show, realizing this, of course couldn't have it. So they threw together this hopeless mess to make sure that as big an ass as Clark is to Lana, Lex would always be the bigger one.

But it does open up the possibility that there's something else going on...

Alternative interpretations:

Lionel is behind the whole plot, and Lex didn't know the baby wasn't real himself until Lana told him so in "Phantom".

Support: Lionel loves screwing with Lex's head and life, and Lionel was very interested in getting Lana to marry Lex (to give her access to Lex's plots, according to "Phantom.") Lionel is certainly capable of such manipulation and has arranged similarly elaborate hoaxes before, e.g. simulating Lex's insanity in "Shattered". Lex appears honestly surprised in "Phantom" when Lana confronts him.

Refutations: Lex knew something was amiss with the pregnancy, and kills Dr. Langston to keep it secret in "Promise." Possibly Lionel arranged to have Langston tell Lex something was wrong with the baby, so Lex wouldn't be inclined to go to other doctors (and thus reveal the hoax) and also perhaps so Lex wouldn't be so upset by the non-existent miscarriage. In that case, however, why wouldn't Lex himself be interested in knowing what happened to the baby, whether it was something wrong with Lana or with himself? Why burn the files?

Lionel got the ball rolling by starting Lana on the hormones, then told Lex about it sometime before the proposal or the wedding to see what he would do; Lex, panicked by the thought of Lana finding out of what a screwball family she was about to marry into, continued the deception.

Support: This explains why Lex looks so surprised finding out about the pregnancy in "Static" but guilty (?) by the time Lana accepts his proposal in "Hydro."

Refutations: If Lionel wanted Lana to marry Lex so badly, telling him would've been a mistake. Possibly Lex found out on his own? But then why let the ruse go on so long; better to end it before the wedding, when Lana was getting close enough to showing that one would think she would start to guess. Also, why hasn't Lex acted to get Lionel back for playing such a cruel trick on him and his beloved? And when Dr. Langston accuses Lex of what he's done to Lana in "Promise" he doesn't mention Lionel.

gnine suggested that Lana really was pregnant, but actually did have a miscarriage at one of the many points she was hospitalized; Lex, worried about the impact that tragedy would have on their relationship, started the hormone treatments to put off revealing the truth until after the wedding.

Support: As above, explains the "Static" surprise and the later guilt. All these possibilities also explains why Lex was willing to rush into marriage, if he believed they were really going to have a baby; once committed, he might've wanted to go through with it even knowing Lana wasn't going to give birth.

Refutations: Is it physically possible to completely cover up a miscarriage? Was Lana ever out long enough to arrange it?

As per elandrialore's theory, there really was a baby, though there was something wrong with it (possibly a meteor mutation, or else it was a Zodling) which Lex didn't want to worry Lana with. The cider in "Combat" was drugged to induce a miscarriage (possibly because Lex didn't want to risk Lana's life giving birth, per his "Lexmas" vision, and/or because the complications were becoming too severe to manage.) The doctor who told Lana the pregnancy was faked was either in the employ of, or was given falsified data by, Lex or Lionel, so that Lana would stop looking into the matter.

Support: Explains most of Lex's odd reactions, and how Lana so easily found out about the hoax.

Refutations: In "Promise" Langston accuses Lex of actually doing something to Lana, beyond getting her knocked up. Also, what exactly was wrong with the baby? Why wouldn't Lex explain it to her afterward, rather than feeding her a fake fake baby story?

There really was something in Lana's womb, but it wasn't her child; it was something (a super soldier? another Bizarro Clark clone? Kon-El???) Lex was growing for 33.1. The "Combat" cider knocked her out so it could be removed and it's now in a test tube in a LuthorCorp lab. Again, Lana was told the baby was fake so she wouldn't find out the truth.

Support: See above. This also explains Langston's "on schedule" in "Crimson" and his accusations in "Promise".

Refutations: So using someone he professes to love seems out of character for Lex thus far; despite his descent into darkness, he's not yet hurt anyone else close to him personally with 33.1 and seems almost to be actively avoiding pursuit of Clark and his friends. Unless he doesn't love Lana at all but is using her for a particular reason (she's somehow physically suited to being a brood mare? she's safer from Clark than almost anyone?), but he's shown many signs of having genuine feelings for Lana. And if he doesn't love her, why would he need to marry her, if he never were intending her to have the baby anyway? Using the engagement to keep her close for observation makes sense, but couldn't he have removed the thing before the wedding and then called it off?

These are all the theories I've read or imagined. Anyone else have another idea about what was going on? All of these are possible and could be retconned into 7th season without much trouble (if they choose to go with it, rather than just forget it ever happened.) The baby arc was so frelled from the moment it was introduced that there's no explanation that works completely, but looking on the bright side - they have plenty of leeway to improve it later...!