but for me fiction is a reflection of reality; a conversation with it.
Thinking this over, I misspoke myself when I said my feelings on romance in RL have no bearing on my feelings in fiction. I was dead wrong about that. However, what I like in my fiction is not what I necessarily like in reality. Rather, my fictional tastes are a distorted reflection of certain ideals and impressions about reality.
So I often have favorite characters that are nothing like the people I like in real life, characters that I'd never even want to meet, but adore reading and writing about. (Current example, my favorite character in NCIS is Tony, but if I were actually going to meet or befriend one of the characters, it would be McGee. McGee is much like my real friends, the kind of person I like to know, but Tony is the kind of char I like to read about.) And I sometimes like relationships that are nothing like the kind of relationship I have or would want to have in real life. For example, I have a kink for dysfunctional, obsessive, co-dependent relationships (not all the time; this is not, for example, how I like to see McShep written; but some of my anime fandoms had some twisted stuff I loved, and Clex can be like this) - in reality, I see such relationships as unhealthy and get very upset if my friends find themselves trapped in one; but in my fiction I can find such to be incredibly compelling. I'm not sure why I have this kink, though I suspect it's because I like/appreciate devoted friendship/love in reality, and on one level am fascinated by the absolute obsessive proof of devotion in fiction where it's "safe" and there's no real people to be hurt by it.
So when I look at John & Rodney, I'm not comparing them to anyone I know in reality, but rather an ideal of friendship/love. (Though it kind of amuses me that you see Rodney doing best with an unambitious partner, because that's actually one of the reasons McShep works for me - I see John as quite laid-back and unambitious in most areas; he doesn't feel competitive with Rodney's brilliance, and Rodney's successes wouldn't hurt his ego...)
A healthy real life is a balancing act between many competing urges and needs and ideals; while as fiction can focus on a particular trait to the exclusion of others, and I enjoy that focus. I like my fiction to reflect certain aspect of reality, but don't need or want it to be an exact mirror image.
The "forever" thing is the same deal - in reality, I am one of those sedentary people who hates change. Change can be very good for me, and I need it sometimes; like anyone I can get stuck in negative ruts. But change is uncomfortable for me. So in fanfic and fandom, which I go to for comfort and relaxation, I prefer a status quo, relationships that stay largely unchanged - that might advance by becoming closer, but that don't split up or end. In real life, I like making new friends, and I'm not totally heartbroken by losing old ones - but I don't want the same for John & Rodney; they're a comfort place for me, in their fictional world, and I want them to remain the way I like them. While as some people love change, love new things, and find the idea of a fixed relationship or life unsettling and stifling, in reality or in fiction.
--
Glad you've enjoying the conversation, and thanks for contributing - your thoughts helped clarify some things for me!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
winterfish
no subject
Date: 2008-11-27 07:58 am (UTC)Thinking this over, I misspoke myself when I said my feelings on romance in RL have no bearing on my feelings in fiction. I was dead wrong about that. However, what I like in my fiction is not what I necessarily like in reality. Rather, my fictional tastes are a distorted reflection of certain ideals and impressions about reality.
So I often have favorite characters that are nothing like the people I like in real life, characters that I'd never even want to meet, but adore reading and writing about. (Current example, my favorite character in NCIS is Tony, but if I were actually going to meet or befriend one of the characters, it would be McGee. McGee is much like my real friends, the kind of person I like to know, but Tony is the kind of char I like to read about.) And I sometimes like relationships that are nothing like the kind of relationship I have or would want to have in real life. For example, I have a kink for dysfunctional, obsessive, co-dependent relationships (not all the time; this is not, for example, how I like to see McShep written; but some of my anime fandoms had some twisted stuff I loved, and Clex can be like this) - in reality, I see such relationships as unhealthy and get very upset if my friends find themselves trapped in one; but in my fiction I can find such to be incredibly compelling. I'm not sure why I have this kink, though I suspect it's because I like/appreciate devoted friendship/love in reality, and on one level am fascinated by the absolute obsessive proof of devotion in fiction where it's "safe" and there's no real people to be hurt by it.
So when I look at John & Rodney, I'm not comparing them to anyone I know in reality, but rather an ideal of friendship/love. (Though it kind of amuses me that you see Rodney doing best with an unambitious partner, because that's actually one of the reasons McShep works for me - I see John as quite laid-back and unambitious in most areas; he doesn't feel competitive with Rodney's brilliance, and Rodney's successes wouldn't hurt his ego...)
A healthy real life is a balancing act between many competing urges and needs and ideals; while as fiction can focus on a particular trait to the exclusion of others, and I enjoy that focus. I like my fiction to reflect certain aspect of reality, but don't need or want it to be an exact mirror image.
The "forever" thing is the same deal - in reality, I am one of those sedentary people who hates change. Change can be very good for me, and I need it sometimes; like anyone I can get stuck in negative ruts. But change is uncomfortable for me. So in fanfic and fandom, which I go to for comfort and relaxation, I prefer a status quo, relationships that stay largely unchanged - that might advance by becoming closer, but that don't split up or end. In real life, I like making new friends, and I'm not totally heartbroken by losing old ones - but I don't want the same for John & Rodney; they're a comfort place for me, in their fictional world, and I want them to remain the way I like them. While as some people love change, love new things, and find the idea of a fixed relationship or life unsettling and stifling, in reality or in fiction.
--
Glad you've enjoying the conversation, and thanks for contributing - your thoughts helped clarify some things for me!