fic: this is Lex, bothering me at six in the morning, the git

[xparrot]

This started out completely self-indulgent, because on occasion I like my boys bombed out of their skulls (see Ban in The Mickey) and Lex will do it to himself, which makes him more cooperative than most. Given how Lex drinks scotch like it's vodka*, he can't like being in his head terribly much. Except it went all horribly weirdly angsty on me and why can't I write fluff? I crave Clex fluff. And then I write this. Man.

* to quote Elliot on Scrubs, a couple eps ago.

Smallville: String Theory at 1 AM {3,146 words}
PG, Clex-ish angst, near-futurefic
Lex has vision, a reason for everything, and a lot to drink.

Read it on AO3

ETA: digitalwave did an absolutely lovely manip for this story (and it's sweet, too, not angsty!)

Beloved Enemy

Thank you so much! <3 Fanart makes my week!

Comments

[slipperyliz.livejournal.com]

*heart* this story.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[huzzlewhat.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, wow wow...

I'd like to leave something coherent and intelligent at feedback, but my brain is stuck on two settings: "Wow" and "Ouch."

I'll see what I can do later, but for the moment — this was a thing of beauty. So painful, and so smart.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm just relieved it makes some degree of sense... ^^;

[prim-rose-etta.livejournal.com]

There's very few things in his existence for which Lex has no hypothesis, no prediction, no calculated percentage of possibility. Clark has always been one of those things. He's how Lex knows what hope feels like: having no certainty, but only wishes, or dreams, or despair when hope is only one final fraying thread which can suspend not the weight of a single wish.

my hero, xparrot

One hundred percent the hero Superman, who will always stop him, and always save him, and there can be no despair when there is certainty, when there is no need for hope.

just lovely.

*bows*

[prim-rose-etta.livejournal.com]

oh, mind if I befriend you and pimp this in my LJ?

*does anyway*

*snorffle*

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

If by "mind" you mean, thank you *so* much for the rec! <3 and welcome to the flist! then yes, I mind. Otherwise, not so much (thank you! ^^)

[prim-rose-etta.livejournal.com]

HAHA!

I look forward to my next free time to check out more of your stuff.
*G*

[bagheera-san.livejournal.com]

I just... wow. I'm torn between admiration, envy and plain being intimidated by your writing. The metaphors! The descriptions!

What I love especially is the sense of utter certainty that Lex projects in this. The world makes *sense* to him, always, all Newtonian mechanics and he's completely messed up but in a rigidly ordered way and god, so smart...

And it actually made me feel drunk a couple of times, that's how good it was.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

The advantage to writing at 6 AM is that attaining a drunkenly incoherent mindset is not especially challenging. Going back the next day and trying to wrestle it into something that makes sense is the tricky part ^^; (even if Lex's scientific method is highly questionable when he's wasted. you can't disprove a negative hypothesis, Lex!)

(ps. I <3 that icon so very much!)

[danceswithgary]

Tonight, Lex closes his eyes, and on the hazy black edge of unconsciousness feels warm lips brush his forehead, and for a little while longer he'll be drunk enough to make believe that this is still Clark here with him, and that he can't see what will happen next.

You broke my heart. Lex wishing for the uncertainty that would allow him to postpone being the villain, only to meet the certainty of Superman. The alternative: death. *whimper*

[danceswithgary]

BTW, this is going on my Darkness recs list. :-D

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Ee, thank you! (one of these days I will write something that can go on a fluff list! ^^;)

[jakrar.livejournal.com]

Heartbreakingly beautiful. *cries*

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[yma2.livejournal.com]

That is wonderful. Dark and tradgic and beautifully written. Just the right sense of... jarringness to show drunkness whilst being wonderfuly ansty too. Fantastic as a character piece on Lex, if nothing else.
A truly awsome story.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

So glad you enjoyed it! Lex in this state is rather coherently incoherent...and angsty like a son of a bitch. Good a way as any to get inside his twisty head, though...

[frelling-tralk.livejournal.com]

Wonderful fic!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[laurab1.livejournal.com]

That's brilliant!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

[withafireinside.livejournal.com]

Well, you got my attention with Drunk!Lex, because there are few things I love more than Drunk!Lex, but there's so much about this that's insightful and heartbreaking. I really, really like it. :)

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

So glad you enjoyed it! Lex got *my* attention, turning up in my head in such a state...and then he went off on such tangents...

[earthseed.livejournal.com]

Wow. And ouch. And more wow. This was just beautiful and heartbreaking and haunting. Well done.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you, so glad it worked for you.

[stitcher2ficcer.livejournal.com]

Finally got to this before bed last night. Definitely not fluff; but masterfully written angst. Ditto to many of the comments above. Your carry-through on the threads metaphor throughout this piece was excellent. You do make me love Lex in a way that I never might have without seeing the angsty complexities underneath the comic book/movie villain.... might have gotten that from Smallville if I watched it; but as it is, I'm content to get it from your writing of him.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Or you might not have gotten it from the show anyway; SV plays with you like that. Sometimes it's there, somoetimes it's not. Either way, glad you enjoyed the story, even if I have connived to get you into Lex against your will ^^

[mahaliem.livejournal.com]

This was wonderful!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[digitalwave]

This was wonderful. Sad, but wonderful, sweetie. Thanks for sharing it with us.

I made you a little present to go along with the story, hope that you like how it turned out:

Beloved Enemy

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

eeeee, it's beautiful! So glad you enjoyed the story, and thank you so much!!

[lastscorpion.livejournal.com]

That's gorgeous! Such wonderful imagery!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[ender24]

if clark would have let anything happened to lex, I would personally take care, that he would suffer a million times more, grrrrrrrrrrrr.
I am NOT going to let this fic makes me sad, so I am going the angry route...grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

there is NO way, there is certainty... no fucking way. damn.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Don't worry - Clark will never let anything happen to Lex! No matter how much this might make Lex despair...

Enough sad things! I need to write happy fluff! wah!

[lukita.livejournal.com]

Dammit, why does your Lex always rips my heart out and stomp on it? And then they have sex... eventually. XD

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

they always do! XDDD

[attaccabottoni.livejournal.com]

I'm an emotional drunk so I was torn between being sympathetic to and horrified at Lex's crazy logic that led him to test that one percent. Of course Lex would take heartbroken drinking to insanely opportunistic and controlled experimental levels. God.

Some fics are like poetry and music; you have to be in the right frame of mind to fully appreciate them. I don't know why my brain found this too lyrical to process right now (maybe because I'm too sober *grins*), but I love it. Most esp. Clark the personification of the Heisenberg Principle, because, dude, ITA!

When I didn't know yet what Lex was after, I was mentally screaming for Mercy when he jumped. At least Ban had Shido in The Mickey. Now you made me crave fluff too. I'm going to reread that now.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Oh, Lex. "Going to extremes" always has been his middle name...

The flaw in this kind of story, for a writer, is getting so wrapped up in finding pretty ways to say things that one forgets to actually say anything at all! So I'm glad it made some sense. And I've always thought the Uncertainty Principle was one of the coolest concepts in science, had to include it.

I need to write Clex fluff! Next time, Gadget, next time...

[slinkling.livejournal.com]

This is beautifully written; you perfectly capture the feeling of being leglessly, lucidly drunk, with the swooping logic of that state of being. And I love the way you've written Lex. Everything about the threads in his mind is so gorgeous and so cleverly used that I'm jaw-droppingly impressed (and jealous). The heartbreak of Clark giving him 100% certainty, thus ruling out despair, thus removing any need for hope, is just shattering.

*friends you*

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Wow, thanks for the lovely comment, I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! (I gotta admit, conveying drunken lucidity is much easier when one is flying on the mental intoxication of sleep deprivation ^^; There's a reason most of my meta is composed after 2 AM...)

Welcome to the flist!

[voldything.livejournal.com]

That was completely wonderful, and the writing is beyond beautiful *in awe*

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it!