categorically not my fault
Mar. 28th, 2007 03:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xparrotI am placing the blame on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
theclexfactor, who occasioned to ask what "purple prose" is. Always a firm believer in teaching by example, I proceeded to provide. And then kept providing, because let's face it, I love run-on sentences as much as the next girl. (If anyone wants to jump in and continue this, feel free - I'm all for a Purple Round Robin!)
Smallville Season 6: A Triangle (Not Unlike That of Bermuda) of Forbiddenly Torrid Passions
Lex gazed deeply into the limpid pools of his beloved's chocolate-hued orbs, his heart fluttering in the depths of his chest like a white dove beating its wings against the gilt cage imprisoning it. "Oh, Lana," the boldly bald billionaire whispered with the lush tenderness of a mother caressing the velvet bottom of her only newborn child, and pressing a sweet kiss to the crown of her shining ebony tresses, he promised, "I will cherish you for this life and all eternity to come."
"Oh, Lex," Lana murmured in return, in a voice as sweet as bear-licked stolen honey dripped from a comb found only with the rarest variety of bee native to the darkest reaches of Africa and, by staggering coincidence, Kansas, due to the tumultuous thrashing of a hurricane some fourteen years prior that traversed a single queen insect over the vast roiling ocean and right into a patch of meteor-influenced daisies, "but," and she sighed, her delicately curved bosom rising and falling with subtle perfection under her shimmering satin shift, "I love Clark, you know."
"Dang it," Lex said.
Meanwhile, several sun-drenched miles distant from Luthor's formidable stone abode, a boy on the precarious cusp of manhood stood in the loft of his family's weathered barn. His eyes, the color of deep-sea kelp waving languidly in the warm drifting waters of the Caribbean where once pirates sailed but were now trawled only by grim gray-toned LuthorCorp aquaculture barges, were fixed on the starkly black plastic frame in his man-sized hands, which enclosed behind clear plexiglas the breathtaking and grief-inspiring visage of the girl of all his dearest childhood fantasies, the daughter of his endless adolescent longings, the mother of his tentatively maturing desires, the sister of his heartrendingly sincere feelings, the aunt of his wistfully seductive endeavors, the niece of his unbelievably lonely tears, the second cousin thrice removed of the agonizingly throbbing manhood in his pants, that purified paragon of all that is beautiful and virtuous, Lana Lang...
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
stop me now! somebody saaaaaaave me!
theclexfactor, who occasioned to ask what "purple prose" is. Always a firm believer in teaching by example, I proceeded to provide. And then kept providing, because let's face it, I love run-on sentences as much as the next girl. (If anyone wants to jump in and continue this, feel free - I'm all for a Purple Round Robin!)Smallville Season 6: A Triangle (Not Unlike That of Bermuda) of Forbiddenly Torrid Passions
Lex gazed deeply into the limpid pools of his beloved's chocolate-hued orbs, his heart fluttering in the depths of his chest like a white dove beating its wings against the gilt cage imprisoning it. "Oh, Lana," the boldly bald billionaire whispered with the lush tenderness of a mother caressing the velvet bottom of her only newborn child, and pressing a sweet kiss to the crown of her shining ebony tresses, he promised, "I will cherish you for this life and all eternity to come."
"Oh, Lex," Lana murmured in return, in a voice as sweet as bear-licked stolen honey dripped from a comb found only with the rarest variety of bee native to the darkest reaches of Africa and, by staggering coincidence, Kansas, due to the tumultuous thrashing of a hurricane some fourteen years prior that traversed a single queen insect over the vast roiling ocean and right into a patch of meteor-influenced daisies, "but," and she sighed, her delicately curved bosom rising and falling with subtle perfection under her shimmering satin shift, "I love Clark, you know."
"Dang it," Lex said.
Meanwhile, several sun-drenched miles distant from Luthor's formidable stone abode, a boy on the precarious cusp of manhood stood in the loft of his family's weathered barn. His eyes, the color of deep-sea kelp waving languidly in the warm drifting waters of the Caribbean where once pirates sailed but were now trawled only by grim gray-toned LuthorCorp aquaculture barges, were fixed on the starkly black plastic frame in his man-sized hands, which enclosed behind clear plexiglas the breathtaking and grief-inspiring visage of the girl of all his dearest childhood fantasies, the daughter of his endless adolescent longings, the mother of his tentatively maturing desires, the sister of his heartrendingly sincere feelings, the aunt of his wistfully seductive endeavors, the niece of his unbelievably lonely tears, the second cousin thrice removed of the agonizingly throbbing manhood in his pants, that purified paragon of all that is beautiful and virtuous, Lana Lang...
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
stop me now! somebody saaaaaaave me!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 06:51 pm (UTC)The thing about Purple prose is that it's so... over the top. It's like someone just vomited half a vocabulary on a page.
A couple of bits of that would work. One. In 1000 words. (With the exception of limpid pools, limpid is a good word, but not when used in conjunction with eyes. It reminds me of limpits, for some reason, and then I think of people with shell fish for eyes. Which isn't good...)
But yeah, that is purple prose. I always worry that I write it, but reading that reminds me that I don't, which makes me happy Yma.
Also, that was truly hillarious.
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Date: 2007-03-27 07:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 07:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 07:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 11:54 pm (UTC)**giggle* No, I don't imagine that's the mood you want to convey in a Lex dying scene.... Hmmmm.... Lex DYING??? Is this the AU, or this yet another Clex project?
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Date: 2007-03-28 06:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-28 02:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 07:14 pm (UTC)bad?you are at this! I can't breathe for laughing!... although I think there's something to be said for how it came in unexpected bits inno subject
Date: 2007-03-27 07:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 07:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 07:35 pm (UTC)(And then they have sex, and live happily ever after!)
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Date: 2007-03-27 07:42 pm (UTC)You realize that I may now nag you to write that story...? *eg*
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Date: 2007-03-27 07:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 08:41 pm (UTC)Oh, this is priceless! How big a bribe do you want to write it? I'm told I make great chocolate chip cookies....
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Date: 2007-03-28 02:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 07:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 07:44 pm (UTC)This is fantastic and you should be ashamed.
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Date: 2007-03-27 07:48 pm (UTC)I am so ashamed, you have no idea! *hangs head*
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Date: 2007-03-27 08:00 pm (UTC)So see? It's different. You should still totally write your version.
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Date: 2007-03-27 08:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 08:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-27 11:32 pm (UTC)Gah! I'll save you!
Date: 2007-03-27 07:16 pm (UTC)Please, please....*cries piteously*
Re: Gah! I'll save you!
Date: 2007-03-27 07:36 pm (UTC)Re: Gah! I'll save you!
Date: 2007-03-27 07:47 pm (UTC)Have you seen the Gringir stories? Supposedly the winner of the worst story ever for like a thousand years online. Really. And hysterical commentary in between-
Re: Gah! I'll save you!
Date: 2007-03-27 07:52 pm (UTC)The Eye of Argon! Yes, truly one of the classics of our age! Though I've never been able to make it through more than a couple pages at a time, before I'm crying from laughing so hard and the words blur XD
Re: Gah! I'll save you!
Date: 2007-03-27 07:55 pm (UTC)'Mount'
'McKinley!' at each other.
Or laugh when we hear the word 'orbs'
"Did they mean eyes?"
"Let's not jump to conclusions."
Re: Gah! I'll save you!
Date: 2007-03-27 08:02 pm (UTC)*sings goodbye scarlet emerald tuesday...*
Hey!
Date: 2007-03-27 09:34 pm (UTC)(only kidding... I HOPE!!!!!!)
PS - has
Re: Hey!
Date: 2007-03-28 12:02 am (UTC)Re: Hey!
Date: 2007-03-28 06:04 am (UTC)(Oh no! what are you doing to those poor not-so-innocent boys?)
Re: Hey!
Date: 2007-03-28 11:39 am (UTC)Unfortunately, her writing of Jien--combined with Menuriko's current writing about Gojyo between the last incident and his meeting Hakkai years later--is making me want to write Jien/Dokugakuji fic. I always have had a soft spot for Dokugakuji.
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Date: 2007-03-27 10:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-28 06:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-28 06:19 am (UTC)I guess I see the family resemblance?
*runs away so Lex doesn't have killed for insolence*
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Date: 2007-03-28 04:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-28 06:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-28 05:31 am (UTC)*shoots myself*
Ahhh over the top purple, how can I live without you?
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Date: 2007-03-28 06:19 am (UTC)...I am terrified I'm gonna suffer another fit of thesaurus-itis write more of this. It's either that or harlequin-writer!Lex as detailed above...
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Date: 2007-03-28 06:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-28 06:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-28 07:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-28 08:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-28 11:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-29 12:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-29 12:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-29 12:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-04-01 07:36 am (UTC)I shall leave the clex for this and will announce this to my beloved flist as they dearly need to know about Lana's "limpid pools of his beloved's chocolate-hued orbs".
there is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO way anyway in the world can resist this.
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Date: 2007-04-01 07:41 am (UTC)(...if I continue this, it, uh...has about a 99% chance of going Clex, so I hope that doesn't shatter your new affiliations XD)