SGA Fic: Know Thyself for What Thou Art

[xparrot]

So, I rather loved "Broken Ties," and wanted to explore it a little further. And yes, there needs to be more Ronon and Rodney stories. And Ronon angst, apparently. This is my first time with Ronon's POV; he proved rather startlingly introspective.

SGA: Know Thyself for What Thou Art {~3,400 words}
PG; gen, angst; tag to 5x03 "Broken Ties"
Ronon knows guilt. What he doesn't know--what he didn't know, before this--is shame.

Read it on AO3

Comments

[snarkydame.livejournal.com]

♥

That's just gorgeous. I adore your Ronon voice -- and whenever you write Ronon with Rodney, it's golden.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm so glad my Ronon works for you! ^^

[katikat.livejournal.com]

A very interesting take on it. I think that you're right, Rodney would probably relate to Ronon's feelings best. And Sheppard wouldn't hold a grudge against Ronon, he would be just happy that Ronon is okay again :)

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Watching the ep, I couldn't help but think that Rodney was remembering, knowing too well what Ronon was going through...

[trystings.livejournal.com]

This proves that there is way too little Ronon&Rodney fic out there. Gorgeous! And oh my, how very bad they are at expressing themselves, but you managed it and kept them in character. ♥

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Ahh, but the boys' (all three of them) utter failings at communication is part of their charm! ^_^

[sholio]

Oh, wonderful! I love the acknowledgment that they have this in common, and the way they tiptoe around the things they can't quite speak; and I love what Rodney is willing to offer in order to help assuage Ronon's shame.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

So glad you enjoyed it! I do love the way these boys care so much and yet are so, so bad at actually acknowledging it...

[greyias.livejournal.com]

Aww, yes! That is the exact kind of thing I was thinking when they showed Rodney's face during Ronon's withdrawal. That it haunts him, like it'll haunt poor Ronon. And double "aww!" to the fact that would share security feed of his own withdrawal to try to let Ronon understand how well he knows.

And yes, again I love your description of John: how Sheppard can do so much and not know why he does it, not admit even to himself what drives him. That is so John Sheppard.

ETA: (because I forgot in the initial squee) I love Ronon's definition of guilt and shame, and the difference between them. It rings so true for him, and well, for me as well.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you! There wasn't any reference to "The Hive" in the script, but the way they were directing and the way DH portrayed his reactions...yeah, they weren't forgetting it. Or maybe I'm reading too much in, but...I was thinking it, anyway!

The guilt vs shame, yeah, that's where the story came from, actually; I was rewatching Avatar, and one ep references the two emotions as distinctly different spiritual challenges to overcome, which got me trying to settle in my mind what that difference was. And then Ronon was right here to be a convenient voice for my musings, so...

[horridporrid.livejournal.com]

Perfect! Just a perfect look at the aftermath. How Ronon handles it -- he is so damn strong and so damn brave, and yes, I think he'd totally be that clear eyed in seeing exactly what burden he was carrying. And how his team reacts, John and Teyla giving him what he needs, but Rodney the one he trusts to give him the truth. Because Rodney doesn't know how to lie.

And I love that Ronon saw Rodney's soldier side (he does know guilt) and I really, really love how you tied this all back to Rodney's own trial with the enzyme.

So yes, perfect, perfect episode tag. :)

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I see Ronon as being very in touch with himself - I don't know how else he could've survived Running as mentally and emotionally intact as he is unless he's very spiritually balanced. And I love, too, how much faith Ronon has in McKay's science...when there's science that needs doing, Ronon's always the first to look at Rodney; so it's not too far a leap (hopefully) to extrapolate that trust to other things, the closer they all become...

[unaccompanied-g.livejournal.com]

This is just gorgeous, and I love the way you write Ronon and Rodney. ♥

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm so glad they both worked for you!

[water-soter.livejournal.com]

Nice, great tag, I loved the way you played Ronon and Rodney. Nicely done.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

So glad you enjoyed it! They're much fun to play with...

[trishkafibble.livejournal.com]

BEAUTIFUL. This rings so true, and satisfies so well! I love Ronon going to Rodney for the truth, even about himself, and needing courage for it. I love Rodney not being able to face Ronon in casual situations until he knows the truth about him. And Ronon's observations about John...I don't think of him that way, but I can see Ronon doing so. I can also definitely see John grinning and content, with his team once more intact! Great job.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I am so glad it satisfied! For such a straightforward-seeming guy, Ronon's got a lot going on. And Rodney gets that, I think. And John, hah...I never know how I see John myself, he's an awful tricky character. If Ronon's take on Sheppard sounds like Ronon, then I did it right!

[jadesfire.livejournal.com]

Oh awesome. I love that you've addressed what the show never mentioned, and the awkwardness between them is so perfect. Your Ronon is so spot on, still strong but managing to be vulnerable at the same time, and Rodney is so much himself. *happy sigh* Just brilliant.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

So very glad you enjoyed it! And that Ronon worked, strong for all his angst (he's got so much, even if it's rarely remembered...)

[danceswithgary]

What a great character piece! The voices felt so right and I could see both reacting exactly that way.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you, glad they sounded like themselves!

[perspi.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes--indeed this is gorgeous. I love introspective Ronon, and asskicking Teyla, and understanding Rodney!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

So glad you enjoyed it! I need to write more Ronon and Teyla...

[deaka.livejournal.com]

Wonderful. :D I was thinking about how watching Ronon go through withdrawal must have been difficult for McKay; it would have brought back a lot of memories, and it would be doubly painful to have to watch someone you care about experience something you know firsthand is a terrible thing to endure. Oh, and I love Ronon's voice here. You have a real knack for capturing his tone. Great work!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you - this was my first time writing Ronon's POV, so I'm very glad to know his tone worked for you...

[ladyflowdi.livejournal.com]

This was absolutely fantastic. I loved the emotion all through the story, the wrenching *shame*. Beautifully done. Thank you for sharing it with us!

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

[dragonladyk.livejournal.com]

See, that just makes "Broken Ties" so much better. It's like "Broken Ties" written by the Criminal Minds writers. Just awesome.

DragonLady

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you! (Hmm, what's Criminal Minds? ^^;)

[highonstargate.livejournal.com]

That's GOOD!!!:D:D

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed it! ^^

[ceitie.livejournal.com]

Oh, Ronon. I love the way each of his team members(and Keller too) do their best to help him, and how Rodney, despite his legendary bad-with-peopleness, just gets it.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Ironically, I think of the team Rodney is actually one of the better ones at communication...

[jennytork.livejournal.com]

I'm sitting here wiping tears. This was raw and painful and just absolutely perfect.

They were both completely themselves and this was all too believable.

Thank you.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! Yay, wow, tears - I take emotional reactions as the highest of compliments, so thank you!

[thdancingferret.livejournal.com]

This is gorgeous. And exactly what I've wanted to see ever since the episode - Ronon and Rodney finding some common ground in what they've both gone through because, really, Rodney is the only one who has even an inkling of what Ronon's had to endure. Beautifully done, thank you.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed it! Even if they didn't actually reference "The Hive" in the episode, I couldn't help but see the shadow of it in Rodney's reactions...

[jessebee.livejournal.com]

Oh, EXCELLENT. *big thumbs up*

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you! ^^

[lavvyan.livejournal.com]

This is just so-much-love inducing and thoroughly awesome. Seriously, it's like you looked into my head, saw the episode tag I wanted to read and wrote it down, only you made it better as you went. *adores*

/slightly incoherent feedback*

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I am so glad it worked for you - when I watched the episode it was a moment I wanted to see, but it didn't really come together until I realized it from Ronon's POV. Was a bit of a tricky fit to get behind those dreads, so very happy to know it was successful!

[raiining.livejournal.com]

Oh oh OH!!

I'm TEARING and I have to blink it away because there are people here I need to go talk to next and all I want to do is read this again and savour it.

BEAUTIFUL. Utterly beautiful, and lovely, and so true for everyone. Great character moments/lines for the entire team. Lovely.

Ronon doesn't like the man he is, but he knows the man he wishes he were, so after they're done eating, he goes down to the computer lab, walks straight there like he's not afraid, even though he is.

Beautiful.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and that it rain true for all the team...

[starwatcher]

.
Oh, wow! What a powerful, gut-punching story. I love seeing the depths Ronon so seldom shows, and the way Rodney was able to empathize on a truly visceral level. Wonderful story; thanks for sharing.
.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I do like exploring Ronon's depths...we see just enough to know they're there, but rarely more, so...

[michelel72.livejournal.com]

I missed parts of season two, so I didn't really make this connection when I saw "Broken Ties". I'm so glad you did, and you make it work so perfectly here, and you really capture all of the characters here, I think. Thank you! (:: is secretly jealous of your writing::)

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

(very belated, sorry! ^^;) So glad you enjoyed this!

[schneefink.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful. You took two very painful canon episodes and made them - well, not better, exactly, but you made me believe they´re going to get over it and come out stronger in the end because of their friendship. Brilliant.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Thank you! That strength in fellowship is just what I was going for, I'm glad it came across. Ronon and Rodney might not have that much obviously in common, but they're teammates, and sometimes that's all that matters...