smallville baby blues

Everyone's already discussed this to death (or faux-death) but I'm still feeling the need to work it out to my satisfaction. 6th season was a terribly frustrating season, but the Rosemary's Lana's baby plot is arguably the worst of it, for being so darn nonsensical. So I'm outlining all the theories/fanwanked possibilities I've seen on the matter, in an attempt to sort out which are more possible. Draws on things mentioned in bagheera_san's post here and various other online discussions, and as always, late-night conversations with gnine, the latest of which meant that I went to work on 3 hours of sleep yesterday, go us!

( Spoilers through the end of season 6. Not for people with heart conditions or fake pregnancies. )