unedited, at 9 AM

[xparrot]

The 9 AM is my bedtime, you see. (oops?) And the unedited is because I don't really want to think about this again, so I'm just putting it up raw, as is...I might read it over for typos later, but I might not. This isn't a real story, it's just something I had to get out of my system. Which I'm posting publicly because I have no shame, also, 9 AM (9:30 now!)

Umm. So I'm an OTPer, and very, very sensitive. Which means I really shouldn't have read friendshipper's recent flashfic, but I did anyway, because I'm also a masochist of the sort who always has to poke a bruise to make sure it still hurts (ow!)

So this is an entirely unauthorized sequel to her story. It's not what she meant her story to be, not by a long shot. Among other things, I pretty much totally sidestep the central threesome of her fic in favor of John and Rodney. It's a fix-it for a fic that isn't supposed to be fixed, that's not intended to be broken.

This story not actually McShep; it's not about destroying what she wrote. But it is changing things, making the chars go my way instead of hers. This still isn't a future I want to see, this is not how I want it to go. And yet I couldn't let it go. So. This. With all my sincere apologies to friendshipper, because it's not her fault I'm an oversensitive OTPing lunatic. Also to gnine and naye (please don't kill me tomorrow? Or today rather?)

nor let it be fearful
PG-13 for language, ~3,400 words
a fic response to Peace I Leave With You by Sholio/Friendshipper

Read it on AO3

Comments

[trystings.livejournal.com]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

God I'm crying. At the office.

But yes, this. friendshipper's story struck such a chord with me. I realize the focus of her story was Rodney and his relationship with Ronon and Jennifer, but I was so overwhelmingly sad for Sheppard, I couldn't let it go. I thought Sheppard deserved more after five years of flinging himself on grenades for his friends. AND YOU FIXED IT! (Well, partly).

I know this is what happens in real life. People get married, start a family, their priorities shift and there is less time to spend with their friends, especially if those friends are still single. And those friends pull back, because they don't want to be the fifth wheel on the wagon during celebrations and family time and their frame of reference is different now, because they don't have spouses and kids, so what are they going to talk about anyway, right? And it's sad when that happens in real life, but even sadder when it happens on a small base where your friends' happiness is right in your face and you're confronted every day with what you have lost. I know that realistically six years from now this could happen, I'm just not ready for it yet. :)

And my main complaint was that Friendshipper said that Sheppard would be okay, that he's hard to read and doesn't invest in relationships anyway and I don't see Sheppard that way. He might shut people out to save his damn pride, but I don't think he would be happy with the situation.

(And on a McShep note: it also stung that Jennifer gets everything: Rodney AND Ronon and Rodney off the team and with her in Atlantis and that Sheppard is left with nothing, but I didn't want to shift the focus of the discussion. HOWEVER... feel free to McShoop fix this as well. *g*)

I should stop now. People want to know why my eyes are red.

The 9 AM is my bedtime, you see.

I went to bed at 3.00 am after much internal debate and commenting and I spectacularly overslept this morning. Boys, boys, what you do to me... XD

Thanks again.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

*hands over tissues*

I say I'm a Rodney-fan, but John can break my heart almost as bad. And in this, especially yes, because I have been there, I'm a happy single now, but it stings when your friends' lives go different places, places you don't even want to follow. (Friendshipper's fic almost got me crying because I was flashing back to my last day of university, graduating and then bawling for pretty much the entire 2 hour drive home, because while I knew I'd see a lot of my uni friends again, it would never quite be the same...) It's realistic...but I don't really like realism in my happy places! Screw reality, give me fluff! XP

But it's worse for John, because in real life most people can move on, they have their families and they can make new friends. John has no blood relations he's really on speaking terms with, and he doesn't make friends easily, and it's hard on Atlantis especially...so yeah, I don't really see him being able to move on. And while I do see John as pretty introverted, he still needs people...he'd be able to function alone, I don't think he'd be depressed, exactly...but he wouldn't really be happy again, not how I see him. And it especially hurts me that Rodney and Ronon and Teyla would let it happen, that they would be so content with their own relationships that they'd stop caring about John, after everything he's done for them...I can't see that happening.

(As for the McShep...heh. I avoided much mention of Keller in my story for a reason. And yeah, I don't think she's done anything to deserve Rodney or Ronon's love, much less everything else... I'm finding it increasingly more difficult not to dislike her character these days. And my worst nightmare is that the show is going to end like this, with Rodney with Keller instead of his team...oh well! Whatever canon does, we've always got fanon - McShep & Team forever! XP)

[trystings.livejournal.com]

I'm finding it increasingly more difficult not to dislike her character these days. And my worst nightmare is that the show is going to end like this, with Rodney with Keller instead of his team...oh well! Whatever canon does, we've always got fanon - McShep & Team forever! XP)

The weird thing is, even though I hate the Rodney/Keller ship, I don't dislike Keller. If nine episodes from now, she and Rodney part ways amicably, I'm going to rewatch this season and thoroughly enjoy every scene she's in.

But yes, if I read Mallozzi correctly (and god, I hope not), we are hurtling towards a wedding. His idea of giving Rodney and Katie a child never made it to a script, because Rachel Lutrell announced she was pregnant, but it shows that he likes the idea of Rodney with a family. And Rodney has already broken up with a girlfriend once, they can't repeat that storyline.

I hate the idea, but whilst staring at my navel during yoga class tonight, it came to me that I might have to accept this stupid ship, if I want to survive the season. I'm still hoping for a huge twist though. *pushes Ronon forward* :D

Lovely title by the way.

[xparrot.livejournal.com]

Ehhh...one of the reasons I don't like Rodney/Keller is that I just don't like Keller much; it's not that I dislike her, but she bores me. Like Elizabeth, she's simply not a char I'm interested in watching or reading about. So the McKeller ship is adding insult to injury...Rodney + Keller actually makes me like Rodney less, which is a terrible thing!

Oh well, I don't think they can get as far as marriage this season...in a weird way I'm kinda glad the show is ending, because I fear the places Mallozzi would want to take it, had it continued...(oh man, if the final episode ends with Rodney proposing and Keller accepting, I am gonna have a mental breakdown! dangit, show, why do you have to do this to us? *whimper*)